Steve Bannon, person anon yada-yada

See Roy here, see Charlie here.

I agree with the both of them, the firing of Steve Bannon won’t matter. He may be a big deal to the alt-right. But he was the umpteenth campaign manager in Trump’s mortal lock losing endeavor, until the postman tore a kennel of pitbulls new puckers, stem to stern. What he really has is a convenient name, and internet presence, and what passes for a face, for the media to posterize. And he has a certain political outlook familiar to certain activists we’re this week too familiar with.

But very little about Bannon that isn’t horrific is true. The idea that he wields the kind of power that could cause Trump any problems – Memeorandum: BANNON AND WAR, Steve-O sez IT’S ON!, To BREITBART, To Bannon! – is not much of a prospect. He reached out to media Tuesday to brag about his administration stature and hegemonic vision, then revealed Friday he’d been ousted long ago.

Much like you’re all too-serious uncle, who eternally knows better and can’t bother to educate you, the returning Breitbarter only holds power among people he can sway: Losers. The living at home. Psych invalids and blue collar hangers-on so overwrought they take bathroom breaks to avoid fistfights.

Meanwhile the numbers of hedging white people, male and female, who at the last minute voted against Hillary Clinton in November tower high over Bannon’s yearly visitor tallies. The numbers of people who never read blogs is probably 500:1 over the people who do. CBS and NBC don’t know if this is true and they don’t care – why would they? There’s no point in a serious vetting of Palpatine’s Darth Vader.

Nut-picking is a time honored practice here in the world of politics. Bannon was a classic nut-job, elevated by, and for the purposes of, the mainstream media to do what they’ve done for hundreds of years.

He was never a real player, politically. His greatest triumph amounted to getting otherwise moribund shut-ins finally to type the N-word in his comment sections. He promptly filtered out such prompted slurs because, with his eye on mainstream politics, you never really know. Sure enough the GOP rewarded him with being 2017’s bete noir for all of CNN, and all of us, and then ultimately Trump.

Goldberg plus Goldberg times Goldberg = GENIUS

Dateline: August 17th, 2017. I can barely believe my eyes. Was this…can it be? Did we just hit Peak Goldberg?

It’s possible.

Fighting Nazis is a good thing, but fighting Nazis doesn’t necessarily make you or your cause good. By my lights this is simply an obvious fact.

The greatest Nazi-killer of the 20th century was Josef Stalin…

Wow didja know that? I’m so surprised to find this out I just may have to….*braaaap*.

Nazism was evil. Soviet Communism was evil. It’s fine to believe that Nazism was more evil than Communism. That doesn’t make Communism good.

Yet confusion on this point poisoned politics in America and abroad for generations.

I am sorry, reader, but I cannot parody this. It is Too Jonah. I’ll only say I appreciate a misperception this dangerous and widely disseminated being so easily corralled by a Pantload.

There’s a natural tendency to think that when people, or movements, hate each other, it must be because they’re opposites. This assumption overlooks the fact that many — indeed, most — of the great conflicts and hatreds in human history are derived from what Sigmund Freud called the “narcissism of minor differences.”

Sure there’s Donald’s fascist/antifa equivocation, which was appalling and received with an enthusiasm likely to shorten the shelf life of his presidency. But then there’s the intellectual argument, freshly made by Jonah, which is altogether the same-different! Admit it – you just don’t get it *farrt*!

ADD: On second reading I believe I may have shortchanged Jonah’s nuanced argument. Let me see if I can re-phrase it.

SHORTER JONAH GOLDBERG: Yes, there’s a difference between Nazis and anti-Nazis. But the difference is so small I get to call them all narcissists.

How’s that Dopey-Klanny goin’ fer ya, Trumpers?

Just how awful does Donald have to become before the Trumpers give a damn?

Best regards to the injured! At the time of this Tweet (ugh), there were already three dead – salutations! One was run over by a car. Give her my best! Where is Trump right now, anyway? Playing golf, I assume. Best regards monster!

“We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides,” Trump said during a short statement from his private golf club in New Jersey.

Sad, isn’t it? Angry hippies hating on the bumpers and tires of that poor car. Can’t we all get under it? Can’t we just this once, together?

“It has been going on for a long time in our country — not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. It has been going on for a long, long time.”

If I were Barack Obama [disclosure: not] I would be completely out of my mind. This racist jackoff just spit out my good name? To cover his stupid klan ass? Oh, FUCK no.

And what the hell, much gibberish? “IT” has been going on? You mean People Telling Nazis to Fuck Off – IT – has been going on a long time? In our country? Really, David McCullough? Any other observations you’d care to share with us? Maybe you wanna throw in with one of the two sides? Or is that too much to ask a sharpie-businessman?

There has never been a worse president in a crisis. Hell, there’s never been a worse president in ANY situation.

Profiles in HIS-tory – Dateline. December 8th 1941…

Okay, everybody, alright. I heard all about it, the Pearl Harbor, okay? And this sort of thing – the Japanese dropping their bombs, and the people below, breaking them with their buildings, and faces – this has been going on a long time, okay? This display of hatred and bigotry on both sides – both sides – has NO place here, in America.

No matter how you look at it, it’s shocking. He really has no idea that one ‘side’ is wrong. Absolutely no clue.

ADD: Oh look. The President has a new Tweet. Rather, he has just Re-Tweeted…Axios?! Really.

Oh fuck me.


Now that at least one grand jury has been impaneled by special prosecutor Robert Mueller, the wingnuts are becoming hysterical. More than usual. Now that there are actual Americans sitting in formal judgment of Donald Trump’s bizarre and extra-legal behavior, not to mention ‘business’ machinations, the poop has gotten real.

President Trump defenders have officially found a new narrative to delegitimize Robert Mueller’s inquiry into Russia’s election interference. Newt Gingrich denounced Washington, D.C. as the location of Mueller’s grand jury Sunday, suggesting it would be biased due to Trump’s poor electoral turnout in the city.

Do your worst, Newt.

Talk about political hegemony. Justice is a motif, apparently. The alleged crimes occurred in Washington D.C. – but so what? The legal issue that really matters is this one: Did they vote for him? Reason number bajillion why liberals are corrupt. Trump can’t be left to the haters, he should be tried by a jury of his peers – billionaires and golf pals please, preferably from Texas. If not, we’ll accept his children (…not Meg Griffin Tiffany, cuz yecch).

Dershowitz, who has become an ardent Trump defender the past six months, argued on WABC Radio that Washington’s Democratic tilt would be unfavorable to Trump and his administration.

“It gives the prosecutor the power to indict in the District of Columbia, which is a district that is heavily Democratic, and would have a jury pool very unfavorable to Trump and the Trump administration,” Dershowitz said on the radio. “So it gives the prosecutor a tremendous tactical advantage.”

The fanbois can’t pull their heads out the elephant’s ass. The whole world isn’t American politics, okay? Unlike Dershowitz, I don’t necessarily want to send somebody to jail just because I voted against him for city council.

Some folks won’t even bother to pretend Mueller is a fakakta fawn/foal rapist.


The stock market is up, unemployment is down and the economy seems to be picking up some steam. The streets are mostly safe, the nation is mostly secure and the world is mostly at peace.

So does it matter to you whether or not the president is a crook?

…this is from Fox News. Go ahead, guess the answer. I dares ya.

The answer for a lot of Americans may be no…

Oookay. And when the bailiff carts him away, you’ll be doing…what? Scratching your ass?

As we hear Trump devotees wail that colluding with a hostile foreign power isn’t a crime or cavil that Mueller & Co. might find other crimes unrelated to Russian disruption, what we are really hearing is their acceptance of wrongdoing. This is the big: “So what?”

The underlying argument is that [Clinton] probably did something even worse, so if he lied, cheated and maybe even stole the election. For after all, he would have been only beating Democrats at their own game.

Oh I get it, we’re reminiscing. LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! Well I certainly feel better, how about you? Apparently corruption is now a competitive sport. I doubt Trump will be impeached any time soon, at least not until someone marks a finish line.

Let’s mull this for a bit:

A poll found that 52% of people who identify as or lean Republican said they would support postponing the 2020 election to ensure that only eligible citizens could vote if it was proposed by President Trump.

We’ve gone from ‘…voter what?’ to ‘Voter Fraud!’ to ‘THE FOUNDERZ SUCK!!1!’ Talk about your rock-candy-ribbed patriots.

The survey, conducted by two academics and published in the Washington Post on Thursday, interviewed a sample of 1,325 Americans from June 5-20 and focused on the 650 people who said they were or leaned toward the GOP…

Trump formed the voter integrity commission after saying, without evidence, that up to 3 million to 5 million people voted fraudulently in the 2016 election.

This isn’t surprising to me, but then I remember the seventies. I am reminded of the Great White Dope, some forty-odd years ago:

On Sept. 26, 1973, Buchanan, then a speech writer for Richard Nixon, appeared before the Senate Watergate committee. As far as he was concerned, the committee was on trial. “The mandate that the American people gave to this president and his administration,” said Buchanan, “cannot and will not be frustrated or repealed or overthrown as a consequence of the incumbent tragedy.”

Vlade’s favorite little boy

I don’t really want to spend any time on Donald’s bully-boy obsession with North Korea. There’s a simple reason for that: I can’t take it. It makes me queasy. Whether he’s just full of himself and the Kim Jongs understand that, or we’re seeing some very dangerous shit, I’m too close to throwing up. I’m not going to engage any of it.

Instead let’s look at this.

President Donald Trump today thanked Russian President Vladimir Putin for demanding the US Embassy eliminate roughly 755 jobs — Putin’s response to the United States’ newly imposed Russia sanctions.

Trump is something.

“I want to thank him because we’re trying to cut down our payroll, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m very thankful that he let go of a large number of people because now we have a smaller payroll…I greatly appreciate the fact that we’ve been able to cut our payroll of the United States. We’re going to save a lot of money.”

I’ve never seen a U.S. president go all prissy-pansy on a foreign leader. Is there a sort of *thing* going on between them? Is Donald spending his weekends at the Kremlin? Is he now Vlade’s ‘special friend’ or something?

Weird. Not that I just noticed ‘foreign policy’ uses the vocabulary of dominance and submission. But might I make a humble inquiry? Is Trump sucking Putin’s cock? Because that would explain it.

What did I miss?

I was out on the road, I just got back an hour ago.

Let’s see if I got this right. I’m pulling it from heady memories of a year and a half ago, aka ‘Wednesday’…

SHORTER TRUMP ADMINISTRATION: Yes, in fact, we’re coming to the rescue of battered white college kids who couldn’t get into Ivy League schools. We’ll be doing it while shifting our entire immigration system away from the peoples of Asia, Africa and Latin America to favor the huddled masses of Wales, yearning to breathe free. Here’s a little known fact: The Statue of Liberty was originally purely good and truly pure, before the trans-statist cosmopolitans fixed a ‘poem’ to the ‘base’ – that question again? Robert who?

Getting angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

There are so many characteristics that set a narcissist apart from a normal human being. There’s of course the obvious one: The need to be worshiped by the masses. But there are other traits. We’re seeing a notable one in Donald’s current behavior: pugnaciousness.

It’s because Trump’s under a great deal of pressure now. Virtually nothing he’d bragged about doing as president has come to pass, and his legendary incompetence is becoming harder and harder for even his biggest fans to ignore. But rather than noting the criticisms of pundits, or of even his fellow Republicans, who are increasingly frustrated with – if not stunned by – him, the President has only become more spiteful. More vindictive. More inward and isolated.

There’s some Adolf-in-the-Bunker going on here:

“The predators and criminal aliens who poison our communities with drugs and prey on innocent young people, these beautiful, beautiful innocent young people, will find no safe haven anywhere in our country. And you’ve seen some of these stories about some of these animals.”

He’s going after immigrants, calling them “animals.” This was at a rally in Youngstown, Ohio (yeah, I know).

“They don’t want to use guns because it’s too fast and it’s not painful enough. So they’ll take a young, beautiful girl, 16, 15, and others, and they slice them and dice them with a knife because they want them to go through excruciating pain before they die. And these are the animals that we’ve been protecting for so long. Well, they’re not being protected any longer, folks.”

Here I pause to google you-know-who for like the hundredth time this year. Mmm, yep:

During the Holocaust, Nazis referred to Jews as rats. Hutus involved in the Rwanda genocide called Tutsis cockroaches. Slave owners throughout history considered slaves subhuman animals. In Less Than Human, David Livingstone Smith argues that it’s important to define and describe dehumanization, because it’s what opens the door for cruelty and genocide…

Trump saw something on Fox this morning that freaked him out, so he’s just barred transgender people – who (whut?!) are already in the military – from getting their unwholesome perversions anywhere near our Jungvolk (“Trump Says Transgender People Cannot ‘Serve In Any Capacity’ In The Military“). This drew critiques from the usual commie mushpots, like John McCain, Orrin Hatch and Joni Ernst [here. note…everything.] His bullying of Attorney General Sessions has ticked off everybody from Senator Lindsay Graham to his secretary of state, Rex Tillerson. And his lack of accomplishments has ended whatever goodwill once was afforded him by the likes of Charles Krauthammer, Kenneth Starr, Ann Coulter and Matt Drudge.

So of course he’s becoming a bigger and bigger asshole. Maybe this works for you in the short while, or when your major responsibility is only a foreign money laundering operation. But when you’re in politics? When you gotta deal with people? When you need friends and supporters to succeed? We’ll see.

*alarums* BREAKING *alarums*

‘Dancing with the Stars’ wants Sean Spicer

   ‘Dancing with the Stars’ wants Sean Spicer

Now Trump loves McCain

Candidate Donald Trump on John McCain.

He’s not a war hero,” said Trump. “He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”

…McCain, a former Navy pilot, spent roughly five-and-half years in a notorious North Vietnamese prison known as the “Hanoi Hilton,” where he was repeatedly tortured. He spent two of those years in solitary confinement.

President Donald Trump on John McCain.

Back when Maverick was only a Navy man tortured by the enemy, he was Gomer Pyle. Now that he’s a millionaire fixing to deny fellow cancer patients chemo and radiation, he’s Sergeant Rock.

Townhall goes full Pinochet has been feeding middle of the road conservatives their daily helpings of finger wagging, false facts and fantasy patriotism since 1995, when it was a more modestly intellectual product of the Heritage Foundation. It is a very popular site, written at about the eighth-grade level, and therefore quite influential among the Republicans who are capable of navigating the internet.

It is with some interest we note the same right-wing clearinghouse that altogether shook with rage at the unprecedented extra-Constitutional non-normative machinations of the Kenyan Usurper is now perfectly good with telling an openly corrupt politician to go ahead and get his Fuck Yer Laws on:

Trump Needs To Be Smart About How He Fires Mueller
Kurt Schlichter | Posted: Jul 24, 2017

Trump must eventually fire Robert Mueller, a partisan tool carrying water for his Establishment pals as he oversees an utterly corrupt “investigation” where the only person we actually know committed any wrongdoing is his bestest buddy Jim Comey.

Though Russian government agents hacked our democracy to elect Donald Trump, though Donald fired the director of the FBI because he dared to investigate the hack, though his son, son-in-law and campaign manager (a Ukrainian-cum-Russian operative) met with a Kremlin lawyer to arrange a dirt-for-dismantled-sanctions deal, Schlichter looks past all that to see a bigger evil: Robert Mueller is big-E “Establishment.” What’s more, he has “pals.” What’s even more, Mueller, and his “investigation”, could rain down further embarrassments, and unearth revelations, or – worse yet – he could generate actual legal charges against Trump and his non-E pals (…or in simpler parlance, in plainer terms what’s happening here is, you could say…it’s a…what’s that word? Investigation.) The damn thing isn’t just annoying, it’s “utterly corrupt” of course.

Gotta hand it to Kurt, he doesn’t lack for enthusiasm. I never saw anyone defend Obama this passionately when Dijon Mustardgate was the pox-some scandal plaguing our fair democracy.

But Trump can’t just lash out and do it, though it is well within his political and moral right to do so. No, he’s got to do it cleverly, with cunning, in a way that shows the American people exactly why Mueller’s witch hunt is a flaming dumpster fire of conflicts of interest and contempt for the right of normal Americans to have a say in their own governance.

There’s probably no better way to demonstrate how a special prosecutor has become a flaming dumpster witch than to fire him. And if Trump can do that with some cunning, all the better. Maybe Donald can creep up with an ice pick and stab Mueller mid-sentence in the back of his investigation, like Tommy did with big-M Morrie. I remember the scene very well – I kept thinking “Wow. Joe Pesci just, like, had a say in his own governance.” Did I get that right?