Wingnuts: With investigation’s first charges, the investigation must be destroyed (part one)

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller’s 2017 special counsel investigation into Russian election tampering laid grounds for its first legal cases yesterday when a grand jury filed criminal charges in Washington D.C..

The charges are still sealed under orders from a federal judge. Plans were prepared Friday for anyone charged to be taken into custody as soon as Monday, the sources said. It is unclear what the charges are.

A spokesman for the special counsel’s office declined to comment. The White House also had no comment, a senior administration official said Saturday morning.

Monday will be an interesting day. If you unfortunately happen to be living in the same neighborhood as Paul Manafort, or Michael Flynn, you might want to take it off. The numbers of news vans and TV cameras soon to be clogging the streets will make it virtually impossible to move.

In anticipation of the media frenzy, as well as of our soon poring over the investigation’s findings (which I think we’ll all be genuinely interested in, because fucking Russia, and WHAT THE HELL?), the wingnuts have fallen back to a typical position, which can be summed up roughly: EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS WRONG.

In a court of law when it is discovered that evidence has been contaminated or a witness is lying, that evidence is thrown out and a jury is instructed to ignore the witness testimony.

GOP communications strategist and not-lawyer Jennifer Kerns reads us the Roolz of Evidence.

As new bombshell revelations prove the infamous “Trump dossier” was bought-and-paid-for by Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, the document that launched the Russian collusion investigation against President Trump must accordingly be thrown out.

Jen’s unimpeachable legal grounds for dismissing the document: “Liberals paid for it.” Whatever part of the allegations the Washington Free Beacon paid for (the oppo effort’s originators) would be Truth Itself, we can assume. If that doesn’t convince you, there are the at-large wingnut arguments against the dossier: “It could all be true.” And “Only we are allowed to pull this shit.”

Digging up dirt on history’s dirtiest president has clearly gotten under their skin. The dossier’s begun to loom so large in their poor febrile psyches that they don’t realize it has nothing to do with Mueller’s investigation. They just assume what any ratfucker would: Pee pee tape! You’re going down! They’re fighting back against that, because disgust is infused with special powers in Republicanland. Jen here is tossing rocks at the incoming meteor assuming it’s one of those ‘golden showers’:

In light of the newest charge that the DNC and the Clinton campaign may have broken a dozen federal election laws with the document, special counsel Robert Mueller has no choice but to dismiss the Trump investigation.

To wit: There is no Trump investigation. It’s a Russia investigation. If that doesn’t indicate their own assumption of guilt, what does? Anyway, to be sure, I wiki’d the whole thing and there’s no mention of the infamous dossier. There is however, specific mentions of “Russian election interference, links between Trump associates and Russian officials, alleged collusion between Trump campaign and Russian agents, obstruction of justice, financial investigations, Flynn activities”, and “investigation of Podesta Group lobbying.”

We’ll know more about all this come Monday. I however doubt we’ll see Donald Trump being arrested for whatever part he played in soiling his own bedsheets in a Moscow hotel. We’re more likely to see one, or both, of Manafort and Flynn being taken in for acting as undeclared agents of foreign powers. As they should be.

The wingnuts though will continue to howl about a dirty document concocted entirely by Hillary Clinton which is threatening to destroy a good man. Even though everything on it happened long before he was even a candidate. Even though it only speaks to him as a damaged person, and not to our damaged election.

Life with a narcissist

As I mentioned before, my childhood was not a happy one. It was pretty much hell. Most of that misery was caused by having to grow up with parents who were mentally ill. Not that our friends and colleagues who struggle with mental illness are bad people. It’s that people with untreated personality disorders are bad people. Pretty much none of them can stand to have children around.

My father was an asshole, a full blown narcissist.

Trump’s attacks on Florida Democratic Rep. Frederica Wilson, a close family friend for decades, started earlier this week, when Wilson described a Tuesday phone conversation between Trump and Johnson’s widow, Myeshia Johnson, during which Trump said Johnson “knew what he signed up for.”…

Wilson was in the car with the fallen soldier’s family when Trump called, and the family has since confirmed that her description of the call, which took place on speakerphone, was accurate. They’ve also made it clear that it was at their request that Wilson was with them. Johnson’s mother also spoke out, saying Trump had disrespected the family with his call.

This habit of making painfully inappropriate comments in delicate situations is a classic. Narcissists neither notice what sort of mood you’re in nor do they particularly care. At all.

But they certainly notice when anyone complains about their bizarre demeanor. And it usually takes a fair bit of ‘noticing’ before they’re in any way interested in making amends for whatever pain they’ve caused.

Timothy Eckels Sr. hadn’t heard anything from President Trump since his son Timothy Eckels Jr. was killed after a collision involving the USS John S. McCain on August 21. But then, on October 20, two days into the controversy over the president’s handling of a condolence call with an American soldier’s widow, Eckels Sr. received a United Parcel Service package dated October 18 with a letter from the White House.

“Honestly, I feel the letter is reactionary to the media storm brewing over how these things have been handled,” Eckels told The Atlantic. “I’ve received letters from McCain, Mattis, and countless other officials before his. I wasn’t sure if the fact that the accident that caused Timothy’s death has still yet to officially have the cause determined played into the timing of our president’s response.”

I suppose that any condolences from the president, even shame- bad publicity-induced ones, are better than none. But you can be sure now about one thing, as narcissists are just this way. Congresswoman Wilson will always be near the top of Trump’s eternal shitlist.

In a series of tweets Saturday morning, Trump once again lashed out at Wilson. His vicious comments are just the latest in a now five day assault on [Sgt. La David] Johnson’s loved ones.

In one tweet, Trump referred to Wilson as “wacky” and said she “is killing the Democrat party.”

A short time later, Trump quote-tweeted a photo of Wilson standing with President Obama, writing “People get what is going on!”…

Based on the replies to Trump’s tweets, people do know what’s going on — and they’re disgusted to see him using his role as commander in chief to politicize the death of a fallen soldier…

There is no such thing as Making A Mistake. There is no such thing as I Guess I Goofed. But there is always I Will Get You For This.

The miracle of wingnut comprehension

Charles Blow on Trump’s lying.

It is a commonly accepted rule among those who are in the business of argument, especially online, that he or she who invokes Adolf Hitler, either in oratory or essays, automatically forfeits the argument…

Blow presses on nonetheless – all the while erecting caveats. And does a fair job of demonstrating how both politicians have employed the bald-faced lie. He also reminds us of this:

…Vanity Fair reported in 1990 that Trump’s first wife, Ivana, “told her lawyer Michael Kennedy that from time to time her husband reads a book of Hitler’s collected speeches, ‘My New Order,’ which he keeps in a cabinet by his bed.” The magazine pointed out that “Hitler’s speeches, from his earliest days up through the Phony War of 1939, reveal his extraordinary ability as a master propagandist.” (At the time, Trump said, “If I had these speeches, and I am not saying that I do, I would never read them.”)

And, once more.

Trump is no Hitler, but the way he has manipulated the American people with outrageous lies, stacked one on top of the other, has an eerie historical resonance. Demagogy has a fixed design.

The essay’s title? Trump Isn’t Hitler. But the Lying…

Kyle Smith at the National Review responds to Blow. As you’d expect.

I was gobsmacked. My mind reeled. I can’t emphasize enough how fresh, how novel, how utterly without precedent this Hitler-Trump comparison is.

The nut graf?

HITLER: Murdered 11 million according to one analysis.
TRUMP: Has murdered no one thus far.

HITLER: Invaded the sovereign states of Austria, Belgium, Czechoslovakia, Free State of Danzig, Denmark, France, Guernsey, Hungary, Italy, Jersey, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Monaco, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, San Marino, the Soviet Union, and Yugoslavia.
TRUMP: Has invaded no sovereign states…

It goes on like this.

For Republicans, anything but guns (part five)

Tuesday October 17th, more two weeks after the massacre in Las Vegas. That’s more than enough time.

Now we can take a hard look at the problem. Today would be a good day to go directly at it. For loyal Republicans, especially, the difficult work now begins. Who or what was really to blame for all those dead bodies?

Media Begging Us For Conspiracy Theories on Las Vegas

Ann Coulter has the mainstream media cornered in her rusty cage. And…I have no idea.

Now the media are just taunting us with their tall tales about Stephen Paddock, the alleged Las Vegas shooter. Reputedly serious news organizations are claiming that he made a living playing video poker. That’s like claiming someone made a living smoking crack.

Coulter will build a conspiracy out of the fact that Stephen Paddock played video poker. The truly damning part here is that the MSM passed along what Vegas police told them without telling Alex Jones what it really means. Can you imagine?

The media are either doing PR for the gambling industry or they don’t want anyone considering the possibility that Paddock was using gambling to launder money.

We can assume it is in CNN’s liberal interest to pretend Paddock wasn’t laundering money. Because grrr. But then, you know how Wolf Blitzer is. He’s surely hiding The Truth whenever there’s a [noun/gerund/guttural sound].

The story says that Paddock’s gambling “was at least a steady income over a period of years.”

I don’t know all the ins and outs of Paddock’s life, but that’s a lie.

She doesn’t know the first thing about him. Except for that he lost big playing computer poker, that’s the first thing she knows.

Among the questions not being asked by our wildly incurious media:

Why would Paddock unload 200 rounds into the hallway at a security guard who was checking on someone else’s room before beginning his massacre?

…umm who, what? You mean me? Alright then. How about: Because he was a security guard? (Is it me? It’s not just me, is it?)

Why was Paddock wearing gloves if he was about to commit suicide?

Have any other solitary mass shooters ever had girlfriends?

That’s some super duper Interpol shit right there. Why would anyone wear gloves to fire a bunch of machine guns? (A thousand steaming shells.) Of all those mass shooters we’ve seen, have any of them had girlfriends? (No, not the solitary ones.) Is it over? Did I win?

Maybe Paddock enjoyed video poker. But if the allegedly serious media are going to keep telling us he was making a living doing it, they’re just begging us to say that losing a percent or two on millions of dollars doesn’t make sense as an investment strategy, but it does make sense as a money laundering operation.

Either the media will concede that smartypants Ann is *headsmack* right, or SHE’S GOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY. ALRIGHT THEN HERE IT COMES.

And the probable illicit business requiring money to be laundered that leaps out at us in Paddock’s case is illegal gun sales.

Nobody makes money on video poker or THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.

If true, it would not only explain the arsenal in his hotel room, but also raises the possibility of either an accomplice or different perpetrator altogether.

People can only lose at video games or YOU ASKED FOR IT.

…a terrorist would go to Paddock’s room on the pretense of buying guns, kill Paddock, commit the massacre, put his gunshot residue-covered gloves on Paddock’s dead hands and slip out of the room when the coast was clear.

Nevermind the 33 guns that Nutball bought in the previous year. Forget about all those hundreds of cameras in the Mandalay Bay Hotel, some of them aimed at Whacko’s room. Just ignore the simple fact that you cannot “launder” cash by betting it. (Cashier: “Hello Mr. Paddock.” Paddock: “Hello Cashier, here are some trash bags. I will have all my crime-money back now.”)

Let us instead gaze in wide wonder at Ann Coulter’s ethical punditry. Surely she would never voluntarily say something so insultingly and conspiratorially stupid. If only Anderson Cooper hadn’t LIED ABOUT THE VIDEO GAMES.

There’s no evidence for any of this, but on the other hand, there’s no evidence for the version the media are giving us. At least the movie script version doesn’t require us to pretend that Paddock was making “millions” from video poker.

No, it’s not the proximal existence of all his many guns, or all the spent bullets and casings, or the many dead bodies (including his own) that make the argument for Paddock’s involvement in the massacre. It’s whether or not he was turning a profit gambling. Because anybody who loses money like that gives up soon enough and goes home.

For Republicans, anything but guns (part four)

Sunday October 15th, two weeks after the massacre in Las Vegas. That’s more than enough time.

Now we can take a hard look at the problem. Today would be a good day to go directly at it. For loyal Republicans, especially, the difficult work now begins. Who or what was really to blame for all those dead bodies?

“No affiliation. No religion. No politics. He never cared about any of that stuff,” the brother of the Las Vegas shooter said.

It was easy to miss the significance of those words — to see how revealing they are.

Timothy Carney pulls a nihilist out his hat.

…if you really listen to those words, they become a possible clue: “No affiliation. No religion. No politics.”

This rings an eerie bell if you’ve been following the dominant social and political trends in 21st Century America…

This was a man untethered to society. He was unmarried. He was unchurched. He was unrooted. He was adrift.

He was retired. But in right wing world, faced with nothing other than a well kept armory and piles of cadavers, it makes head-nodding sense that a 64 year old millionaire would go Travis Bickle on Las Vegas. A certain Bible-banging sense in particular, casually assuming fifty plus years of godless teenage resentment. Midnight basketball, anyone? [off topic: Not exactly sure The Rheumatoids were much of a punk band, oy.]

Writer Margot Talbot expanded on the publisher’s point: “Many drug addicts, he explained, are ‘trying to escape the reality that this place doesn’t give them anything.'”

There’s no support structure, no sense of purpose. Other people become abstractions, and thus they are at best means to ends.

Other than comping him at one casino after another, putting him up in fine hotels and cashing his poker tickets, what did the town of Las Vegas ever “give” Stephen Paddock? What, if anything, meaningful did he have to do there in his short-long life? You can certainly see why he would want to shoot and kill the “abstractions” all around him. You can also see how the lack of things – or, in this case, the lack of lack of things – predisposes the at-risk elderly to mass murder.

Faced with the pictures of Paddock’s hotel room stacked to the gunwales with bullets, tripods, and firearms, the faithful end up with their eyes crossed. All the wingnuts can see is…NOTHING. Which is really…SOMETHING. To wit:

“Las Vegas casino magnate Steve Wynn said Sunday that his resorts and casinos had an extensive profile on Stephen Paddock…

“‘The most vanilla profile one could possibly imagine,’ Mr. Wynn told ‘Fox News Sunday.’…

“‘He didn’t fit the profile of a problem or a compulsive gambler. … You never, ever would stop a man like this from coming in the building.’

Radio host Chuck Baldwin stares at a blank canvas…

Things just don’t add up!…

At this point, all I can say is that I am personally convinced that there was more than one shooter. It seems virtually impossible to me that an untrained 64-year-old Stephen Paddock could have carried out these shootings by himself…

…and sees a conspiracy. No one can just lay out a few thousand dollars and buy himself a bunch of war weapons. And then point them at people. And then shoot them. (In WINGNUT WORLD.)

I also invite readers to watch this compelling acoustic analysis of the shooting that seems to prove the existence of multiple shooters:

EXCLUSIVE: [crazypants]

If there was more than one shooter, the only thing that makes sense to me is it had to be a professional dark ops government action. “Whose government?” you ask.

Oh please. Don’t keep me waiting.

There are only three governments that have the resources to successfully pull off a shooting of this magnitude and completely escape detection inside the continental United States – only three: America’s CIA, British MI6, and the Israeli Mossad.

Third eye, blind. Baldwin looks right past Paddock, through all the fire and smoke, and whistling lead, and sees dong dugga-dong-dong…James Bond.

Plus, the presence of “spy cameras” in Paddock’s room strongly indicates the presence of spooks. This is almost standard procedure for covert ops and suggests a degree of sophistication in this operation that I cannot imagine Stephen Paddock would have.

How would a mere poker player know to put a room service cart outside his door? And to place a camera on it? This is obviously some Aldrich Ames-level strategery on display. A REAL spree shooter barricaded in a hotel room would only…barricade himself. In his room. How Chuck Baldwin untangled this knotty scheme, ’tis a wonder.

Finally, Chuck: Yes the government planned and carried out this murder of its citizens for no good reason. But don’t you go blame Donald Trump for it, because that would be crazy.

No, this doesn’t mean that your congressman or senators (or mine) or the President of the United States or even the Pentagon knows about it – although any one or several of them MIGHT. But it does mean that there is an illegal nefarious dark side of government that surreptitiously carries out the most evil and unspeakable acts of violence against the most helpless and innocent of people ALL OF THE TIME…

Again: Guns? What – are you nuts? Surely there’s something liberal to blame. The government, of course! The Statist Specters of Sector 51.

When the American people can come to grips with the distinct possibility of what I am saying, then we can have an intelligent conversation about what to do about it…

Wolverines, etc.

For Republicans, anything but guns (part three)

Sunday October 15th, two weeks after the massacre in Las Vegas. That’s more than enough time.

Now we can take a hard look at the problem. Today would be a good day to go directly at it. For loyal Republicans, especially, the difficult work now begins. Who or what was really to blame for all those dead bodies?

You can rely on the pro-life crowd to be most vocal in support of gun rights.

That’s true.

Apparently, a dot of cells has value, but country music fans are on their own. Dead? Well, that’s a small price to pay for freedom. And no one is second to Rick Santorum in this hypocrisy…

Somebody asked Rick about this? O Frabjous Day. We should be knee deep in Deuteronomy shortly. Okay Senator, who or what’s to blame for this latest mass murder?

“Violence in television…”

– wut? –

“Violence in television and the video games — there is a mountain of evidence out there, psychological evidence, about what we’re doing to our young people with these video games, violent video games…”


Won’t somebody think of the children?

“…and you never hear the left trying to go after Hollywood or the gaming market,” Santorum exclaimed. “It is never involved in this discussion. Where is the solution? Here we are. Where is the solution?”

I give Rick credit for a performance worthy of being called Smartest Burp Ever. It’s rare to see a glorious pundit offer the panacea to our mass shootings (ban all movies and video games), then turn around and say “And what’s the answer to all this? Who knows?! Not me!”

Rick is something of an antique firearm himself. Spending his time pinging old Fresca bottles he found on Jerry Springer’s back porch.

“Always gun control,” Santorum complained. “It is never about the violence we have in our society, it is never about what Hollywood, you know, contribution to that.”

One gets the sinking feeling that, in Rick’s world, a Gun Totin’ Man is somehow something of a Biblical figure and, therefore, sacred. Whereas any depiction of Him is blasphemy. Not that the likes of Schwarzenegger, or Stallone, are to be trifled with because, you know, Rick’s your classic pussy. But it appears to be a wimp’s prerogative to say “I can’t tell these people what to do! Who the hell do you think you are?

For Republicans, anything but guns (part two)

Sunday October 8th, a week after the massacre in Las Vegas. That’s more than enough time.

Now we can take a hard look at the problem. Today would be a good day to go directly at it. For loyal Republicans, especially, the difficult work now begins. Who or what was really to blame for all those dead bodies?

…VICE News called Don Turner, president of the Nevada Firearms Coalition, the state’s NRA affiliate, to discuss gun laws in the state. Turner was in Phoenix, attending an NRA conference for gun range owners, where he’s scheduled to speak this morning.

Don can tell you a few things about the problem. But he’s not convinced that guns had anything to do with it.

…Turner told VICE News that “when someone has that kind of mentality, it doesn’t matter what kind of laws you have,” and he encouraged a calm public response.

Funny that idea. It inevitably gets tossed around after one of these mass murder shootings – which is to say frequently. Turner being bred in the belly of the beast, you would think his “laws are helpless in the face of evil” mantra would be anathema to his right-wing brethren. Townhall’s resident Philosopher of Man Mike Adams:

If there is one thing that separates the conservative from the liberal it is his view of human nature. The conservative sees man as born in a broken state. This tragic view of human nature sees man as selfish and hedonistic by design. Given his nature, it is no wonder a man chooses crime. It is a wonder he ever chooses conformity…

His solution is to implement a back-up plan. In the context of crime, that back-up plan takes the form of a criminal justice system focused on punishment.

This is the bedrock of hectoring conservatism (i.e. All Conservatism). Man’s boundless evil is the reason they want to legislate – and eventually always do – consensual sexual activity, pleasure-seeking behavior and elementary school education. There is nothing too trivial to present a looming threat that requires legal intervention and incarceration.

“After our success in stopping President Obama’s bathroom rules in court, states are now free to enact legislature of their choosing to protect privacy,” Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton said in a statement. “Texans should feel safe and secure when they enter any intimate facility, so I applaud the work of Lt. Gov. Patrick and state Sen. Kolkhorst for fighting to protect women and children from those who might use access to such facilities for nefarious purposes.”

Even children peeing in bathrooms need to be protected from lurking evil. But you? Caught in another mass shooting? Naaaw. When a sporting enthusiast sprays a few thousand rounds at a music concert, that’s just a sad fact of life…

“This is the price of freedom,” (Bill-O) continued. “Violent nuts are allowed to roam free until they do damage, no matter how threatening they are.”

O’Reilly said his experiences covering gun-related crimes showed him that “government restrictions will not stop psychopaths from harming people” because “they will find a way.”

It’s like hearing rap music in public, or getting caught in long lines at the Cineplex. Sigh what a world, amirite? As mother once told you, there’s little point in complaining about the weather. Especially when it can kill you. Perhaps you’re the type to be surprised to find this out, particularly as gospel coming from the fundamentalists, but hard laws and stiff penalties never solved anything.

…Trump on Thursday saying he is open to considering legislation that would ban bump stocks, which were implicated in the mass shooting that happened in Las Vegas last weekend.

“We don’t believe bans ever worked on anything,” (NRA executive director) Chris Cox told Chris Wallace on “Fox News Sunday” when asked whether the organization would support a ban on the devices.

And besides – can we even do that? Aren’t there other entities involved here? Isn’t it mostly out of our hands? Aren’t these “firearm laws” the prerogative of someone else?

State Sens. Kelvin Atkinson, Yvanna Cancela, Julia Ratti, and Assemblymen Jason Frierson and Chris Brooks issued a joint statement about the need for the (bump stock) bill: “As more details continue to emerge, it is clear that action must be taken to build the safest Nevada possible for our families and communities.”

Assembly Republican Leader Jim Wheeler said through a spokesman that regulation of bump stocks is a federal issue because the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms allows the devices.

I guess some issues are just too big for mere politicians to decide (yeah, no).

Anyway there’s an even bigger issue to address here, long before we try to do something like permanently amend the Constitution. We still don’t know what happened.

…Turner told VICE News that “when someone has that kind of mentality, it doesn’t matter what kind of laws you have,” and he encouraged a calm public response. “In the emotion of the moment, there’s a tendency to push anti-gun agendas. We need to find out what really happened.

There may have been some twenty-odd thousand witnesses – but what the hell just happened? I mean, really? Do we even have any idea? This seems to be the most rational stab at Republican irrationality. There’s been so much confusion and chaos, how could we ever possibly know? I mean beyond the lurid news images of automatic gunfire and people dying. There’s the mass perception, of course, but then there’s the truth. Let’s not forget that. Let’s not only content ourselves with putting a battle dressing on a deep philosophical conundrum. It’s all so forever complicated and unclear, it’s simplicity defined.

Few others might, but Republicans clearly see the problem. Plagued as we are with chaotic reality and flawed epistemology, not to mention the ubiquity of evil and the fundamental meaningless of all laws – as well as there being only a rare few people who have the power to make them – America’s mass shootings are pretty much a hopeless situation. And if that observation doesn’t seem strange to you, there’s this one. He-men would prefer to be seen as strong and capable, but ours are routinely satisfied with their own impotence when confronted with the mass murder of the public.

For Republicans, anything but guns (part one)

Saturday October 7th, it’s been almost six days now. That’s more than enough time. The shooter’s identity has been found out, and it’s been published. His girlfriend’s face has been plastered across the internet. His Facebook and Instagram footprints have been thoroughly scoured (…wuh, nothing?) And, oh yeah, the bodies have been bagged and whisked away.

So now would be a good time to take a hard look at the problem. Today would be a good day to go directly at it. For loyal Republicans the difficult work now begins. Who or what was really to blame for all those dead bodies?

You know – it’s an open society and it’s hard to prevent anything. And when somebody does what he wants to do – it’s going to be hard to prevent anything.

Sen. John Thune of South Dakota: ‘Some folks are always gonna exercise their Constitutional rights and shoot people. We’re a free country – whatcha gonna do?’ I find John’s argument to be a bit strange. When the topic turns to abortion, he never seems to recall that America is “an open society”, or that it’s “what she wants to do”.

Anyway apparently the problem isn’t that bullets are ricocheting all around you, and you feel so helpless, because you are helpless, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to die. The problem is that you have so little Common Sense.

I think people are going to have to take steps in their own lives to take precautions. To protect themselves. And in situations like that, you know, try to stay safe. As somebody said — ‘get small’.

Must credit! Thune! ‘You’re gonna have to take steps in your own life. You need to take precautions. You really should try and protect yourself…’ What a sensible guy. I think Saddam used people like this as human shields, for his cattle.

Frankly it’s sad that Uncle John even needs to mention this – with some finger-tapping and an exaggerated eye-roll – but: You need to try to stay safe. Jeez, okay? So that when, as sometime happens, a hunting enthusiast with a tripod-mounted machine gun starts mowing down everyone around you, you don’t just stand right up and begin lumbering around like a zombie. C’mon, now, don’t do that. Don’t do what those people at the concert did. Do the right thing. Try to “get small”.

Pretty much speechless

I’m not sure I have anything fitting to say about President Donald Trump’s attempt at ‘leadership’ during the post-hurricane crisis in Puerto Rico. I mean…what would an appropriate comment be? He’s lashing out at both their threadbare political leaders – who are not out playing golf, but spending every ounce of their energy trying to keep people alive – and their citizens. Who, of course only happen to be, well, starving. Or dying. I cannot recall the president of a nation hating on his own unfortunate people this way.

…I’m just. Stunned.

They’ve got no food, no water, no medicine, and no electricity. And now their president just called them loafers. I do not have the words. I wish I could say that he’s finally gone too far, but he’s a Republican. There are guaranteed to be fanbois of such truthtelling.

…*tap* tap* of course…

Appearing on CNN Saturday morning, former South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer (R) lectured Puerto Rico hurricane victims on self-sufficiency saying they “need to take care of themselves.”

Asked about San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz requesting help for the American territory after it was devastated by Hurricane Maria, Bauer said “I’m a state’s rights guy.”

There’s always a quasi-intellectual phrase, isn’t there? Right there on the tongue. And where the hell does a strafed island territory fit into your dialectic, DoucheWandius?

“Here the president is doing everything he can, two other major catastrophes. My house was flooded four feet, I helped myself. I realized theirs is much worse than mine, but I think the mentality too often is to turn to Washington every time you turn around, and local leadership needs to take this by the horns.”

Here you go. Here is the divisive Mayor laying about on a banana divan, throwing horns to the floor, and waiting for a central government spoonfeeding.

I think I once said that Trump could go to the Lincoln Memorial and stand on the Rail-Splitter’s head rending helpless puppies limb from limb, and 50 million Americans would cheer him. I may have given him too little credit.


What he said.

Donald Trump finally gets it right

He’s fat loud and mentally ill. He assaults women and defames immigrants. He threatens TV stars, journalists, politicians, and the director of the FBI. He even threatens to annihilate entire countries, like North Korea and it’s millions of citizens. He appeals to the uneducated, racists and bigots of this screwed up country, and he’s proud of himself.

He is the most loathsome disgusting and divisive man ever to hold the office of U.S. president – and that’s saying something. But just now, this weekend, he managed to get something right. At long last he finally did us some good. Donald Trump somehow figured out a way to unite this angry roiling country, when he decided to personally attack its football players.

“Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now … He is fired’,” Trump said on Friday at a rally for Alabama Senate Republican candidate Luther Strange.

Trump said in Twitter messages later on Saturday that, if NFL players wanted “the privilege” of high salaries, they “should stand for the National Anthem. If not, YOU‘RE FIRED. Find something else to do!”

This is a man who was born with “the privilege” of hundreds of millions of dollars in his front pocket, angry at other men – grown men, real men – who play a dangerous game well enough to greatly enrich the bank accounts of his fellow billionaires. He is outraged they would in any way protest the seemingly endless murders of unarmed black civilians. He wants to be taken seriously. This is not much of a man, at all.

And he’s starting his own grass-roots movement. To take down the National Football League. From the hardscrabble environs of the White House.

It won’t work.

Goodell issued a statement later Saturday morning that read: “The NFL and our players are at our best when we help create a sense of unity in our country and our culture. There is no better example than the amazing response from our clubs and players to the terrible natural disasters we’ve experienced over the last month. Divisive comments like these demonstrate an unfortunate lack of respect for the NFL, our great game and all of our players, and a failure to understand the overwhelming force for good our clubs and players represent in our communities.”

President Pops retorted:

Sorry, gramps.

But it’s been a while since football teams were occupied only by “good old boys.” Football teams have now included gay players, immigrants, Muslims and even female coaches. To expect athletes to reinforce the traditional politics of an America that has undergone great changes is a refusal to recognize that the football field, like America as a whole, has become far more ideologically diverse than some longtime fans of the game realized.

This is a rare sighting. You’d have to go back 30 some-odd years, to a time when President Reagan-with-Alzheimers used to say geezer shit like “Trees cause more pollution than cars do”, to come up with anything so askew with reality. Trump has stepped in it this time.