Kentucky Rep. Dan Johnson: Conservative to the end

Kentucky lawmaker Dan Johnson is refusing to resign amid accusations he molested a member of his church when she was 17.

Of course he won’t resign. He’s a Bible-banging Republican – they’re never guilty of anything. It’s wingnut law, look it up.

…the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting (KyCIR) published an expose Monday detailing allegations of how the Republican state representative — and self-proclaimed “Pope” of his Louisville church — woke his daughter’s friend during a sleepover in 2013 and forced himself on her, slipping his hands up her shirt and bra and putting his fingers in her vagina.

“’What you did was beyond mean, it was evil,’ the victim said she wrote in a Facebook message to him shortly after the incident…” Johnson had an answer for that, of course. Because he’s one of God’s great Christians.

The Representative called a press conference yesterday at his church. And he and the choir (seriously, no kidding) greeted the assembled with a rendition of ‘Come All Ye Faithful.’ Then Dan Johnson addressed the crowd and lied right through his teeth. In the House of the Lord, no less.

He said the woman was a church member whom he claims was upset about how he spoke to the girls that night.

“I don’t want to blast this girl, I have a lot of compassion for her,” Johnson said. “I’m very sorrowful that she’s in this dark place in her life.”

Johnson, who represents parts of Bullitt County, said the woman’s claims are partly motivated by his political opponents and his support of conservative causes. He claimed the woman was a supporter of Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential race and supports abortion rights.

“This is an assault on all real people, there’s no perfect people and you get into office and all of sudden political hacks come against you and start accusing you after you’re in office,” Johnson said.

He acknowledged that he sent a Facebook message to the woman in January 2013 saying he couldn’t remember what happened New Year’s night because he was “drugged” at a local bar.

Let us count all the ways he can’t be guilty of sexual assault, shall we?

1.) She’s angry he spoke a certain way to her friends.
2.) She’s now in a dark place.
3.) She’s been motivated by his political opponents.
4.) She’s a Hillary Clinton fan.
5.) She’s pro-abortion.
6.) She’s another ‘political hack’ who’s coming after him.
…and, most ominously…
7.) He doesn’t remember what happened that night because he got ‘drugged’ at a local bar.

I know, I know. In the flood of all the sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape allegations, you’d barely even noticed this one. It barely registered a blip. But as histrionics go? It’s about as pathetic an attempt to dodge responsibility as we’ve seen.

That same thought probably occurred to Rep. Johnson. He’s likely been thinking about this all night, how such a paltry display of deceit isn’t going to cut it. How such excuse-making just won’t wash anymore in our post-Harvey Weinstein world. Because today Dan Johnson shot himself.

Kentucky State Rep. Dan Johnson, who was under investigation for alleged sexual molestation, died of a “probable suicide,” the Bullitt County coroner said.

Bullitt County Sheriff Donnie Tinnell said Johnson drove on to the bridge over the Salt River on Greenwell Ford Road in Mt. Washington, parked on the north side of it and shot himself in front of his car. His body was found on the bank of the river, just past the bridge.

Sadly (…or not…) we knew this sort of thing would happen sooner or later. It was only a matter of time. For the record, and for the handful of sex criminals who happen to read this looking for clues on how to get by in this strange new world, here: Don’t kill yourselves. Show a little courage, alright? Try this instead: Tell everybody what you did. Admit to the world you committed a horrible crime. Apologize sincerely and publicly to the victim. Then think long and hard about what you did while serving out your sentence.

There’s a time-tested societal concept that comes to bear here, popularly referred to as “paying your debt.” This is how you move forward after having done something really evil. Okay? Try doing that instead, pukebags.

I wish there were something better I could say about Rep. Johnson, the dead man, but unfortunately I can’t. He remained utterly himself right to the end. Some short time before he drove to the bridge and ended his life he posted this on Facebook:

The accusations from NPR are false GOD and only GOD knows the truth, nothing is the way they make it out to be. AMERICA will not survive this type of judge and jury fake news . Conservatives take a stand. I LOVE GOD and I LOVE MY WIFE, who is the best WIFE in the world,My Love Forever ! My Mom and Dad my FAMILY and all five of my kids and Nine grandchildren two in tummies and many more to come each of you or a total gift from GOD…

Even in death he went The Big Lie.

…stay strong, REBECCA needs YOU . 9-11-2001 NYC/WTC, PTSD 24/7 16 years is a sickness that will take my life, I cannot handle it any longer. IT Has Won This Life . BUT HEAVEN IS MY HOME…

16 years later, the poor guy. That damn nine-eleven did him in.

…(1)blame no person,Satan is the accuser, so blame the Devil himself. (2) Forgive and Love everyone especially yourself .(3)most importantly LOVE GOD. P.S. I LOVE MY FRIENDS YOU ARE FAMILY ! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT !

Goodbye, Dan.

‘Till we have shilled Jerusalem…

It appears now that Donald Trump is grasping at straws.

Which is not surprising. As president he is historically unpopular. His entire administration is under investigation by a special counsel. His only legislative achievement, a massive tax cut for the rich – which will, as luck would have it, enrich Ivanka Trump by hundreds of millions of dollars when Donald has his imminent heart attack – is still on hold while the houses of legislature quibble over clauses and language.

For a self-confessed winner, his year old presidency is entirely shot through with losing. Americans largely do not like him, do not trust him, and are sick to death of his tweeting. So this announcement comes as no surprise:

“Today, we finally acknowledge the obvious: that Jerusalem is Israel’s capital. This is nothing more or less than a recognition of reality. It is also the right thing to do,” Trump said from the White House’s Diplomatic Reception Room.

The only question was how exactly his speechwriters would try and spin it.

“After more than two decades of waivers, we are no closer to a lasting peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians. It would be folly to assume that repeating the exact same formula would now produce a different or better result,” he added…

“Today, I am delivering,” Trump said, referencing his campaign promise.

Trump offered a confection coated in I-only-want-peace, with a solid my-word-is-good center. American Evangelicals gobbled up the Jerusalem news without hesitation and licked their fingers gratefully.

Domestically speaking, the middle of it is probably what matters. Because Trump is a complete political disaster. A colossal careening failure. A fatmouth blowhard who promised everything and so far has delivered nothing.

This is Foreign Policy deco. It’s Trump’s attempt to look as if he’s still powerful, on point and relevant. He’s trying to draw attention away form the fact that he’s a Republican in a thoroughly Republican government who can’t even get a traditional slam-dunk tax cut passed. More and more, with every setback, Donald hides from his failures in one of two ways: attacking Hillary Clinton or stoking the lunatic right wing. This is the latter.

Internationally speaking, it’s a disaster. Trump’s short-sighted politics engenders anything but peace.

A 30-year-old Palestinian was shot and killed during clashes in eastern Gaza, Palestinian Authority’s Ministry of Health said, with more than 300 people injured across the West Bank, Gaza and Jerusalem, 50 of whom needed hospital treatment…

In Gaza, Israeli aircraft hammered Hamas targets. A 54-year-old Palestinian man died from injuries sustained during an Israeli airstrike in Gaza, according to a report from the official Palestinian news agency WAFA, quoting the Palestinian Ministry of Health. Fifteen people were injured, WAFA said.

The violence and unrest ran across borders.

Protests in Jordan, Turkey, Malaysia

Trump’s move has roiled Muslims around the world and loomed large during prayers on Friday, Islam’s holy day…

Big crowds marched through the streets of Amman, Jordan, in a show of opposition to Trump’s move. Jordan is a key US ally in the region.

A protest march also set off from Istanbul’s Fatih mosque after Friday prayers. Demonstrators waved Palestinian and Turkish flags, as well as banners proclaiming solidarity with the Palestinians.

Dogukan Sevinc, a municipal worker attending the rally, told CNN the protesters were not against anyone but were “defending Muslim rights” in the wake of the US decision. “They don’t respect anyone — they care just about Jews and Christians. The world is not just Jews and Christians,” he said.

The world is not just Jews and Christians. It’s not even that. The world seems increasingly reduced to Donald Trump, his ego and his supporters. Plenty of Jews and Christians – millions inside the U.S. – knew that bowing to Israel’s hard line would spark riots and bloodshed across the Middle East. Which is why no president has ever seriously considered it in reality.

But reality is no friend to Donald Trump. It is increasingly the enemy of the world’s winning-est winner, who cannot bear to fathom his true self or his tatty presidency. So rather than come to terms with the deaths he’s now personally responsible for, he will instead consider this a great success.

And what will he have gained from this tragedy? Trump will have won the further loyalty of these people:

…[Republican state Senator Doug Broxson] suggested that the president’s controversial decision to move the US Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem may usher in the biblical end times…

“Now, I don’t know about you, but when I heard about Jerusalem — where the King of Kings [applause] where our soon coming King is coming back to Jerusalem, it is because President Trump declared Jerusalem to be capital of Israel,” Sen. Broxson predicted.

This was last night at the President’s rally in Pensacola.

Classic Fox News

News broke yesterday that former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn would plead guilty to lying to the FBI, thereby becoming the fourth Trump associate to be indicted through Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation. Speaking for the rest of us, it elicited a small sigh of relief. Given the corruption of the Trump administration and Trump himself, such corrections seem long overdue.

Fox News of course has its own agenda, remote as it is from decency, propriety or the now-useless antique once popularly known as ‘our Constitution’. Instead Fox provides us their own version of correction in the televised form of Old Lou Dobbs, who indicts the former president and current international scofflaw Barack Obama for mocking The Leader’s Twitter posts.

President Obama is on something of a shadow tour of Asia, taking swipes at the current commander in chief, railing against what he calls…so called…uhhh

Dobbs gets so upset at the thought he can no longer read the teleprompter.

I mean…former President Obama calling this populism that President Trump has brought with him to Washington, he calls it ‘destructive populism’. I guess he prefers destructive elitism. At least the people get a voice now.

As if that black communist didn’t win two elections by millions of votes. The Electoral College can have the crotch grabber, I’ll take the populist.

Speaking in India, Obama lamented the U.S. exit from the Paris climate accord. Oh my gosh! He hasn’t gotten used to that either? And he blasted President Trump for his Twitter account, saying he should think before he tweets. IS THAT NAUSEATING OR WHAT?

It happens to be the number one complaint of Trump voters, Lou. Nice dye job by the way. In every poll we’ve seen, when the MAGAs are asked what they’re disappointed with in Trump, it’s always the Twitter account. It runs away with the category every time. Being the little patriot snowflakes they are, they don’t like being serially assaulted by Trump’s nasty and brutish personality, which, thanks to the internet, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is a constant presence. Obama here is voicing the Republican complaint about the Republican president. And for that, what does he get?

I think U.S. Marshals should follow him, and any time he wants to go follow the president like he is, and behave… I mean, this is just bad manners. It’s boorish. It’s absurd.

Dobbs wants Obama arrested.

He doesn’t realize how foolish he looks. I mean, he should be brought back by the Marshals. Isn’t there some law that says presidents shouldn’t be attacking sitting presidents?

Remember when liberals said Trump voters were a bunch of authoritarians? There oughta be a law.

Told Ya So…

As long as your humble scribe has been taking a few minutes out of his weekends to remind you that Donald Trump is a dangerous man with a personality disorder (like my lunatic Dad) I have been met with stony silence. A small part of that has been due to the fact no one reads this blog, but putting that aside: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

He sees the calls for Mr. Moore to step aside as a version of the response to the now-famous “Access Hollywood” tape, in which he boasted about grabbing women’s genitalia, and the flood of groping accusations against him that followed soon after. He suggested to a senator earlier this year that it was not authentic, and repeated that claim to an adviser more recently. (In the hours after it was revealed in October 2016, Mr. Trump acknowledged that the voice was his, and he apologized.)

Donald J. Trump is no longer of the opinion that he said what he said. Sure, Billy Bush got fired for it but so what? The President now denies making the comments that he spent weeks dignifying as “locker room talk”. The Most Powerful Man In The World doesn’t believe that he was in any way involved in a conversation that ignited a political scandal – because of saying the horrible things he said, that he immediately admitted to, and apologized for, but now he says were just fake. Nope, not him.

Alright. NOW do you believe me?

Patriot murders neighbor, hilarity ensues

Our dim friends at are doing their best to spin a gun whacko horror story into a whoopsy daisy. I mean – the poor guy was a HUNTER, after all. He was on his lonesome, stranded out there in the freezing cold of his back lawn! The well-shucks account is loaded with feelgood American words like Family and Dogs and Western and Friend. It’s running fairly lean on words like murder and scumbag and cold death.

Hunter Accidentally Kills a Woman Walking Her Two Dogs

Wednesday evening, 43-year-old Rosemary Billquist decided to take her two Labrador Retrievers, Sugar and Stella, on a walk in a field behind her western New York home. Little did she know that she would not be returning home.

Nice paragraph there.

Shortly later, Rosemary’s husband, Jamie, heard his dogs barking. When he went outside to see what the commotion was about, he was greeted by EMTs who were pulling into his driveway. One of the EMTs was also a family friend.

“Jamie, we’ve got a gunshot wound,” the friend said as he rushed into the field.

Can you just feel the tension? Yeah, I don’t think it needs to be there. This isn’t a murder mystery. There’s an evil sonuvabitch out there that Townhall is simply doing its best to avoid. Probably one of their readers. Did some asshole shoot somebody, Townhall? Would you like to fill us in? At some point?

How the Shooting Occurred

The Billquist’s neighbor, 34-year-old Thomas B. Jadlowski, thought he had seen a deer in the field. He grabbed his single shot handgun and shot Billquist from 200 yards away, The Buffalo News reported.

The shooting? It “occurred”. How do we know this? Because Buffalo News “reported” it. Fair enough, ho-hum. Tommy Boy thought he saw a buck walking upright about 200 yards from his house – and or course we all do that, let’s be fair, we’ve all seen tottering two-legged deer in the blinding light of sunset – then pulled a pistol cannon from his holster and murdered his hapless neighbor walking her dogs.

Once Jadlowski found Rosemary, he applied pressure to his wound as he called 911.

EMTs took Rosemary to UPMC Hamot in Erie, Pennsylvania, where she was pronounced dead.

“They tried saving her,” Jamie Billquist said. “It was just too bad. … It’s horrific. It will be with me the rest of my life.”

It’s not as if some moron blasted his neighbor in cold blood. It’s more like, uh, give us a couple minutes and we’ll turn this into Daddy’s little mishap. Whoops – where did that socket just go? Here: Pistol Pete was only trying to save his town from the legendary Buffalo beast. As it happens, the pussy-hat neighbor was rutting uncontrollably, with her dogs, in the vicinity of the hero’s best ballistic intentions – and hey, whatcha gonna do? It’s unfortunate. Seriously, honestly. We’re almost sad about it.

According to the Chautauqua County Sheriff’s Office, Jadlowski has been fully cooperative with the investigation.

Finally! Some good news.

The Neverending Story

As if Hillary were his stoopid Mom.

How long will he hide behind her skirt?

Sessions’ new deal

Now we know. In late 2016 Donald Jr. was receiving campaign advice – as well as anti-Hillary internet links and stolen website passwords – by way of Twitter’s DM function from the third-party intelligence agency Wikileaks.

What this means for Mueller’s Russia investigation, I’m not sure. It certainly illustrates a pattern of behavior among Trump’s inner circle, where even known anti-American actors could successfully infiltrate the 2016 campaign with relative ease.

The revelations aren’t surprising, nor is this development:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is entertaining the idea of appointing a second special counsel to investigate a host of Republican concerns — including alleged wrongdoing by the Clinton Foundation and the controversial sale of a uranium company to Russia — and has directed senior federal prosecutors to explore at least some of the matters and report back to him and his top deputy…

The Attorney General will consider appointing a special counsel to investigate Hillary Clinton.

The list of matters [Goodlatte] wanted probed was wide ranging but included the FBI’s handling of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server while she was secretary of state, various dealings of the Clinton Foundation and several matters connected to the purchase of the Canadian mining company Uranium One by Russia’s nuclear energy agency.

This is exactly what Trump’s been pushing for behind the scenes. It’s been a long road, until now.

Only weeks ago he simply didn’t understand why the U.S. President couldn’t initiate a DOJ probe himself. Mystified at that, he’s been stymied by an AG who couldn’t read his omni-present moods or the media sheets and wouldn’t start a special counsel investigation in his stead. Why can’t Jeff Sessions throw Hillary Clinton in jail already? What is so hard about that? He thought he might have to fire everybody to get anything done.

We assume Donald this morning has softened his tone.

President Spineless

Our own American Quisling met with his great hero Vladimir Putin earlier today. And he asked the infamous dictator “Hey buddy where did you buy that cool tie-hack-election?”

“Every time he sees me he says, ‘I didn’t do that,’ and I really believe, that when he tells me that, he means it,” Trump said. ”But he says, ‘I didn’t do that.’ I think he is very insulted by it, if you want to know the truth.”

NOOOO NOT THE TRUTH aaahh damn it. I was so hoping you’d spare me that. Christ, is Vladi upset with us? Have we hurt his feewings? For fuck’s sake.

“Don’t forget. All he said was he never did that, he didn’t do that. I think he is very insulted by it, which is not a good thing for our country.”

Any other dangerous despot, go right ahead and call him names. But this one? His feelings very much matter. Seriously, his happiness is closely tied to our country’s well being. Under the Trump administration, at least.

ADD: Guilty? Or psycho? You decide:

President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin did not discuss alleged election meddling on Saturday, despite Trump saying they did, according to Putin’s office.

“No,” Putin’s press secretary Dmitri Peskov told CNN when asked, “as far as you know, did the two leaders discuss meddling?”…

When asked about his meeting with Putin, Trump told reporters on Air Force One that Putin denied attempting to influence the 2016 presidential election.

“I just asked him again,” Trump said. “He said he absolutely did not meddle in our election, he did not do what they are saying he did.”…

“I can’t stand there and argue with him, I would rather have him get out of Syria,” Trump said.”

13 days of Asia: Trump

The President has embarked on an Asian trip. To do dear God knows what.

Way out there, lumbering around Air Force One, flying high above the tatty planet, he ptew-ptew scored points with his handpicked lackeys who know nothing about foreign relations or rocket telemetry.

U.S. President Donald Trump has said Japan should have shot down the North Korean missiles that flew over the country before landing in the Pacific Ocean earlier this year, diplomatic sources have said, despite the difficulties and potential ramifications of doing so…

The U.S. president said he could not understand why a country of samurai warriors did not shoot down the missiles, the sources said.

Dear George Bushes: You can die, now

The Bush family cabal has just released a book, by way of Mark K. Updegrove, called The Last Republicans (hint: it’s about Them. How kyyyoooooote). In it, Bush Prezes forty-one and forty-three demonstrate nearly palpable courage in saying painfully wussy things way too late about a man who is altogether too likely to use nuclear weapons, given enough time in the Oval Office:

“I don’t like him,” the elder Bush told author Mark K. Updegrove in May 2016. “I don’t know much about him, but I know he’s a blowhard. And I’m not too excited about him being a leader.”

The ninety-something wheelchair bound Dad waited until long after the election to reveal his faultless wisdom. As did Junior. And as H.W. is currently enjoying a latent Twitter-infamy for groping a number of young women, I’d like to offer kudos for his timing.

According to the book, George H.W. Bush voted for Hillary Clinton last year (as it was reported he intended to do), while George W. Bush left the presidential slot on the ballot blank.

George W. Bush told Updegrove that he was surprised Trump won the nomination and presidency. He criticized Trump for his lack of humility, which he said was a guiding force among his own family. And when he heard Trump boasting about being his own adviser, Bush thought that Trump “doesn’t know what it means to be president,” Updegrove told CNN.

“I’m a war president!” Mr. Humble once explained. Because everybody else was being so darn arrogant, sheesh.


Trump of course has responded in his ‘I Have The Greatest Memory’ way:

Fuck Kuwait! Or something.