His New Clothes

Hat tip must credit arooga woo-woo Hans Christian Anderson.

Once upon a time there lived a vain Emperor whose only worry in life was to dress in elegant clothes. He changed clothes almost every hour and loved to show them off to his people…

“We are two very good tailors and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method to weave a cloth so light and fine that it looks invisible. As a matter of fact it is invisible to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its quality.”

In my years, and I haven’t spent many of them interested in politics, though I retained in parallel somewhat a working memory, we’ve seen George H.W. Bush befuddled at the supermarket checkout line. We’ve seen Michael Dukakis wish he knew better what a modern tank was like. And we’ve seen George W. insinuate his familiarity with ‘The Google.’

We have seen over and over again the many crotchety patricians pretend as if they weren’t just old white guys. We have cringed at the attempts of the political magnates, the cloistered and silver-spooned, to pretend as if they knew at all what the hell an ATM was. Or a wireless phone, or a self-serve checkout, or the worldwide web.

But Twitter? With Donald Trump? This is different.


It’s academic. Or, perhaps, disgusting.

We’re through the looking glass here people

Vladimir Putin’s Russia, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, is hacking our election in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner.

Pfft, c’mon.

Momentum to hold investigations into alleged Russian hacking during the U.S. presidential election picked up steam on Monday, with the Senate’s top Republican joining Democrats, the White House and other GOP leaders in calls for a probe…

As the furor mounted on Monday, Mr. Trump was left nearly alone among political leaders in questioning the conclusion that Russia stole emails from the Democratic National Committee and Hillary Clinton’s campaign, and leaked them in an effort to interfere with the election.

Oh please, those people are all bonkers. Why would our friends of both long-standing and sterling reputation, the Russians, want to do something like that? It’s not as if Donald Trump were a mentally ill sex criminal with an unimpeachable record of destroying everything he’s ever taken charge of. It’s not like he needed help to beat e-mail voodoo priestess Hillary Clinton…by the many negative millions of votes.

Right. You take away the votes that Donald figures are illegal, the ones for Hillary Clinton, and sure enough Hillary Clinton gets fewer votes. Do that enough and at some point Donald wins in a landslide – it’s not brain surgery, people. You can pretty much forget about the cyber espionage thing everyone is bleating about now because nyah nyah pbbbt meh-tweet.

Until the Internet Sheriff actually catches Boris E-Jack with a hatchet in his glowing hands, how could anybody ever possibly know? Simple logic!

And why has this ‘issue’ cough-cough suddenly fallen right out of the clear blue sky, seven weeks ago? At the presidential debate?

WALLACE: And I would like to ask you this direct question. The top national security officials of this country do believe that Russia has been behind these hacks. Even if you don’t know for sure whether they are, do you condemn any interference by Russia in the American election?

TRUMP: By Russia or anybody else.

WALLACE: You condemn their interference?

TRUMP: Of course I condemn. Of course I — I don’t know Putin. I have no idea.

Anyway, you get the idea. President-elect Donald Trump is taking this very serious matter very as if so you say WHATEVER circles-at-head double wankhands.

Host George Stephanopoulos noted that Trump has said he does not believe U.S. officials’ conclusions that Russia was behind hacks into Democratic groups, noting that the Department of Homeland Security and Office of the Director of National Intelligence issued a joint statement in October stating that Russia was behind the leaks.

Conway said that Trump takes issue with the “specific conclusion that what Russia did led to his victory and Hillary Clinton’s defeat.”

“That’s where our beef is. He respects the intelligence community,” she said.

Oh he does. He suuure does:

“These are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction,” said a statement from his transition team.

I wonder how long it will take before your jumped up junkie-voter realizes Donald Trump is a verbal morphine drip. They don’t care what sort of bullshit he says so long as it gives them a buzz. Keep giving ’em the good stuff, Donald.

Today in Trump’s America


D.C. Police on Sunday detained a man armed with an assault rifle outside of a popular pizza restaurant that became the focus of internet conspiracy theories during the election…

There were no reports of injuries, but police said the man fired one shot into the ground, according to Washingtonian.

Why is a Trumper blasting holes in the dirt outside a pizzeria? You are entitled to ask.

Widely spread and uncorroborated fake news stories published during the presidential campaign claimed that Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s campaign chief was running a child-sex ring from the restaurant’s back rooms.

Because fucktard Zuckerberg can’t be bothered.

Trouble in Trumpville

Look at this.

Plenty of angst already bubbling up in the fever bogs of the true believers. Donald hasn’t yet whipped ISIS’ ass, put Mexico in a headlock or thrown Hillary over the barbwire. The deplorables are beginning to, well. Do whatever it is they do.


Aside from midnight tweeting the president-elect has gotten some other things done, like having a mega-nosh with fellow jillionaire Mitt Romney (…nooo!). But the fine-dining flunkee bears little resemblance to The Leader. That, friends, was a man. The SOB they hosanna’d on the campaign trail was someone who despised politeness and politicians. He hated the hollow people. He loathed the losers who played both sides, hemmed and hawed, or split any hairs. Dominatin’ Donald had all the answers, and he was gonna cram them right down America’s throat. The Leader was a man of action. But this person? Right now? Yaaawn.

In the weeks since the election, Trump has gone back on his promise to repeal Obamacare, reneged on his promise to jail Hillary Clinton and the 30-foot high border wall that was the center point of his campaign is looking more like a fence.

Trump also promised to drain the swamp in Washington D.C. but his appointments are composed of bankers, lobbyists and political goons from failed administrations past. Not to mention the fact that the toddler man can’t seem to stay off of Twitter for more than 45 minutes.

The over-promised and highly energized are seeing their hopes flag. The anti-Messicans are beginning to practice throwing their hands up.


The sad fact we haven’t seen Bluster Brownrape personally breaking ground for the thousand mile anti-Palestinian edifice is almost enough to make them…give up on…whatever it is they do.

Winger media have surely noticed. I’m betting Rep. McCaul was asked to pitch in and pen this No, really! rouser for Fox News:

A lot of people doubted him. And why not? Politicians have been promising to do this for years, and they have let Americans down every single time.

That’s all about to change. Starting next month, the people are going to get what they asked for.

We are going to build the wall…

Just you wait! Starting next month a bunch of the usual politicians could (maybe) put pen to paper and begin writing the legislation necessary to create a multi-billion dollar boondoggle. Then sometime after that – again, maybe – if they can scrounge the money, and get every one of the thousands of private landowners to agree, or sell what they own (…why? I don’t know…) they’ll begin to debate the wisdom of a massive border wall. They’ll finally have an adult conversation about a thirty-foot cash drain that won’t really keep anybody out. But just you wait, it’ll all begin maybe for sure late maybe sometime…in 2017? 2018?

…Period. In the process, I pledge to stand side-by-side with the Trump administration to throw out Obama’s reckless immigration policies and start enforcing our nation’s laws.

Sounds good, pal. Keep saying that and I’m sure the Trumpers will all calm the fuck down. Because whatever it is they do, that’s the one thing they do best.

Donald Trump, violence and viral narcissism

These are all probably connected.

In the 10 days after Donald Trump’s victory in the U.S. presidential election, the country experienced a surge in hate crime, according to a study by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The prominent U.S. civil rights group released a report Tuesday identifying 867 incidents of harassment and intimidation between November 9 and November 18.

This phenomenon already has a name: The Trump Effect.

Many of those incidents involved harassers invoking Trump’s name, making it clear that the outbreak of hate was primarily due to his success in the election. The highest number of hate incidents occurred on November 9, the day after the election, with 202 recorded.

Unfortunately we’re seeing the Trump Effect all around us. But I don’t think it’s because, or only because, Donald ran a racist campaign. I think there’s more to it than that. It’s likely also because of what Donald Trump is – a reality show star.

Researchers are starting to suspect that the much-lamented rise in narcissism over recent generations can be traced, in part, to the influence of reality television. A study we reported on in March found a substantial link between higher narcissism levels and regular viewing of such programs…

The researchers found that participants who watched more narcissistic shows received higher narcissism scores — but only those who (a) watched the programs frequently, and (b) identified strongly with the characters.

A study showed people were more narcissistic if they watched reality TV and identified with its awful stars. A second study…:

…featured 165 college students, who were randomly assigned to watch either a reality show filled with narcissistic characters (Jersey Shore or The Real World), or a scripted comedy (The Office or Friends). Before the screening, half read a fake news article stating that “people experience more enjoyment when they strongly identify with characters in the shows they watch.” The other half read a different bogus article, which stated that “distancing themselves from characters” produced more enjoyment…

The key result: “Among participants who saw a narcissistic reality show, narcissism scores were significantly higher for participants who read the bogus article stating that experience-taking enhances enjoyment,” the researchers report.

When participants were encouraged to “identify” with characters in the TV shows, the ones who’d watched reality TV exhibited a measurable increase in narcissism.

This suggests that, among certain people, watching reality TV directly leads to increased narcissism.

Donald Trump ran a reality show candidacy – how could he not? He’s the most famous reality TV star in the world (he may be the most famous narcissist as well). It’s probable the horrible folks out there punching and kicking innocent people in the streets are only doing what they think Donald would do. They’re like Little Trumps. The fact that so many of them were doing it only hours after the election is damning, I think.


President Shitgibbon is wearing a new hat. This is bigly news and to be taken very seriously by serious people like you. Feast your eyes upon Sex Criminal Crapmonkey and his new Dadhat because it surely cost him $19.99 to have an actual ’45’ emblazoned or laser-cut or acid-etched from the haunches of Dune unicorns on its side, or whatever it is that the red state Dadhatters do now to turn a buck in Donald’s America.

Donald Tramp swapped his “Make America Great Again” hat on Sunday for some new presidential headgear — proudly sporting another red lid, this time with the number 45 stitched into the side in a not-so-subtle swipe at ongoing recount efforts.


At some point our Shitgibbon will totter off and squeeze himself a yuuge turd, and the New York Post will be all over that too.

Golly. Look at the wingnuts go.

· Trump Starts Wearing a New Presidential Hat

· Trump debuts presidential new hat at Mar-a-Largo this weekend – and people are digging one detail!

· Reporters Shocked to See What Was on Donald Trump’s Hat This Morning

· USA! Trump debuts new ‘red hat,’ and (for the most part) people are loving it [photo]

America is insane.

Ready! Steady! Betsy and the Teenage Scrubbers!

President-elect Trump has chosen school voucher queen and billionaire Betsy DeVos for his Secretary of Education.

Trump said DeVos is “a brilliant and passionate education advocate” who will help him “reform the U.S. education system and break the bureaucracy that is holding our children back so that we can deliver world-class education and school choice to all families.”

The face of our country’s education system will now be someone who has worked for decades to tear it down. Or rather, she probably will be. I can’t say for sure when a cursory glance at her politics reveals stuff like this:

A think tank funded by Donald Trump’s Secretary of Education pick recently advocated for putting kids back in the workforce.

The Acton Institute, a conservative nonprofit that is said to have received thousands of dollars in donations from Betsy DeVos and her family, posted an essay to its blog this month that called child labor “a gift our kids can handle.”

This is why the Koch Brothers will never be appointed to anything. Billionaire activists are whackos. Their politics tend to be utopian, and Libertarian, and no-shit the best for you people!, though you’re too much a prairie grazer to know better. Suffice it to say that you shouldn’t bother publicly arguing with Betsy because she’s got millions and billions to shove down your throat.

Here’s one of her great projects, the Acton Institute. Here’s one of their great intellects:

The abundant prosperity of the modern age has brought many blessings when it comes to child-rearing and child development, offering kids new opportunities for education, play, and personal development. Yet even as we celebrate our civilizational departure from excessive child labor, we ought to be wary of falling into a different sort of lopsided lifestyle.

The use of language here is quite precious. Once we were guilty of “excessive” child labor, now we’ve gone crazy and we tend to be “lopsided”. Well, wouldn’t want that, would we? Try working the 11 year-old in the abattoir for only 4 hours a day. Jurgis Rudkus say: Moderation in all things *pinky sip*.

Alas, as a day-to-day reality, work has largely vanished from modern childhood, with parents constantly stressing over the values of study and practice and “social interaction” even as they insulate their children from any activity that might involve risk, pain, or boredom.

Oh shit. He’s serious.

As a result, many of our kids are coming far too late to the arena of creative service and all it brings: dignity, meaning, freedom, virtue, creativity, character, and neighbor love.

Oh shit he’s SERIOUS. Listen up, Randbot. Name me a single thing that ‘brought’ “dignity, meaning, freedom, virtue, creativity, character, and neighbor love” to my life. Try me on as a test case. Eh, what’s that you say? Bzzzt, nope, it wasn’t the mall job I had when I was 14. How about this: “unconditional love”. Yeah, a “childhood”. It’s the only thing that came close.

And “creative service”? The “creative” sum total of our creeping service economy amounts to diddley fucking squat. And that’s exactly you-goddamn-know where the virtue-starved meaning-less pubescents will end up: scrubbing shit off the bathroom walls at Denny’s. For a buck-fifty an hour. For that, you should be skull-fucked.

…the Washington Post recently published what it described as a “haunting” photo montage of child laborers from America’s rougher past.

The photos surely point to times of extreme lack, of stress and pain. But as Jeffrey Tucker rightly detects, they also represent the faces of those who are actively building enterprises and cities…


Conbloggers: Happy Thanksgiving and goodbye, losers

Pardon Assrocket if he seems a little distracted right now because he is entirely in his glory. He can hardly catch his breath after two weeks of you suck Lindy-Hopping.

Powerline blog radiates John’s post-election mood. The writers are now almost entirely given to running from side-to-side in the Eagle’s Nest and pointing at wounded Dems below [Zum wohl! Prost!]. If they’d never made a stink about these folks before – the Moonbats, and John had for sure, admit it – then how lame is this, right?

The liberal freakout over the election is likely to turn into at least a four-year Broadway show (apparently Broadway is the only safe space for liberalism right now, to read the paranoid rantings of the mononoids of the left). Here’s the latest communication from The Nation, with my comments in brackets:

“Dear Friend of The Nation,

“A country in which a presidential candidate with a lead of almost 2 million votes doesn’t become president is not a democracy. It is a scandal.” [No, it’s called the Constitution, but thanks for playing. And thanks for being so explicit that you hate the Constitution.]

…the happy feet, there they go. “It’s a little thing called The Constitution bitchez, but thanks for playing.” He’d probably add a “Talk To The Hand” except for the fact that, you know, it’s currently busy. But give our blogger a moment to finish, then he’ll pile on some more.

Democrats are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that they lost the presidential election. Now they are threatening to kill Republican electors unless they switch allegiance and vote for Hillary Clinton when the electoral college meets on December 19. The Detroit News reports:

“Trump’s opponents have deluged [Michael] Banerian and other GOP electors with pleas and nasty emails to reverse course and cast their ballots for Clinton, according to the Michigan Republican Party.

“’You have people saying ‘you’re a hateful bigot, I hope you die,’ he said.”

Democrats apparently have had all sense of irony surgically removed.

Yes the true bigots of the world are the anti-bigots. We should probably get used to this dodge, as well as to the future protected hate crimes status for John’s friends who happen to have pale skin, or Klavern affiliations, or Sammy Hagar CDs, etc.

For today, though, a special holiday-Muntz HA HA from Assrocket, with typical good cheer:

Democrats Prepare to Enjoy the Holidays

Those Democrats sure know how to have a good time. While the rest of us are looking forward to family reunions and delicious turkey dinners, the Democratic Party is coaching its faithful on how to win political arguments. This is from the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, a “Guide to Thanksgiving With Your Republican Relatives.”

Click to enlarge:


No cheating. Just because Fox News has burnished its tired clichés into your right-wing friends’ cortices doesn’t mean the Democratic party can do the same. Everybody – your pals and you – are all in agreement on this: Talking points are their way of life. For you, however, what are you trying to do?! Ruin a perfectly good evening? Sheesh… […and now we move on, to Scene 17. WHERE you are stuck sitting at your own dinner table, next to your own Uncle Lucky, the real charmer. Ready? And ACTION: “…like some potatoes, Uncle Lucky?” “Why, I sure would, thank you. [pause] Say Missy, I been meaning to ask you. How’d that election go for you? *giggles* Nice gravy by the way, izzat some sorta Hillary recipe?” …and cut. Thanks everybody, all very natural, now get out of my house.]

One of the things I am thankful for this year is that there won’t be anyone at our Thanksgiving dinner who comes armed with partisan talking points in hopes of winning arguments with his or her relatives.

All together: Projection much? What’s so remarkable about Trump’s Tiger-bloods isn’t that they’re rejoicing in our manifest loserdom. It’s that they’re even less capable of the slightest bit of self-awareness. No one is more likely to ruin a holiday than an alt-nut. No one is more relentlessly self-righteous and argumentative. No one else needs you to grok the boundless dangers of failing to appeal to the Rust Belt white male.

And only Assrocket’s Holiday Powerline could do this: Make a big stink about somebody’s inability to get along with others while simultaneously prodding readers to erect their own Apartheid:


…when it looked to me like Hillary Clinton would win, I recommended that, going forward, conservatives “maintain a status apart.”… What happened to Mike Pence at “Hamilton” reinforces my view.

This is the third most popular post on the site, below the two “petty loser!” entries I excerpted above.

By maintaining a status apart, I mean refusing to subsidize or participate much in left-wing institutions. This might mean changing the school your children attend, or switching to a different religious congregation, or cancelling a newspaper subscription (you can stay abreast of left-wing views online for free), or boycotting most Hollywood productions.

Powerline would prefer the true believers pull out of the district school, drive cross-county to the backwoods church, and cancel their subscriptions to the Daily Breeze in favor of the Global End Times. It also would prefer they refuse to take their children (now friendless and tired – whhhy?) to the opening of the next Pixar kindergasm, even though this national contest, the presidential election, they won (…oops, my bad. Not so much ‘the election’ as won ‘the Electoral College’. The votes of the citizens, not even close.).

You talk about petty. Assrocket here is on the ups, he can’t believe how wonderfully obvious everything is, and how all the people he so detested are so detestable. Those jerks, I mean can you believe them? They can’t even manage to come see us at Thanksgiving without screwing it up! But then: Incidentally, by the way, after tonight we probably won’t be around any more. You won’t see us again. Don’t bother sending out a libtard search party because we decided we can’t spend time in the usual places with you people any more. Because you’re a serious threat to our children, country, lives, etc.

And here we are, trying to memorize a few lines to get through the evening. Here they are, thinking how typical that is of atomic waste, or something.