Don’t wait, call eight-eight-eight imp-each

Here’s a business-man who won a national election. And here he is marketing himself as the next glorious United States President. Here he is as vendor selling tickets to a New Year’s Eve blowout he’s throwing at his own headquarters. Here he is, marketer and merchant, selling access to his own private event at his own business, at his own residence, where he lives. For five hundred bucks.

Mar-a-Lago, the pricey private resort in Palm Beach, Florida, sold hundreds of tickets at more than $500 a piece to an annual New Year’s Eve extravaganza planned for Saturday night that will feature a very special guest: the president-elect of the United States of America and his family.

Pity our poor Donald, he doesn’t know this is all wrong. He doesn’t know this will get him impeached. He doesn’t understand this is all legally forbidden and totally disgusting. He will soon be shocked to find himself a constitutional scofflaw, and a total dick, and a national disgrace. He doesn’t understand that he’s now got a job with actual rules and requirements.

So he will break the law without a shred of remorse. And he will pooh-pooh the Constitution over and over again. And we will react by being somewhat compelled to question him politely, or scold him somewhat, and eventually do everything we can over the next eight years to beg him please do not be a douche. Because we are all suckers and totally pathetic and altogether too nice. Because we are a bunch of losers, for sure. So we will do our best.

White kandidate, white kabinet

Donald hasn’t been up to much. He’s been a surprisingly lazy Most Powerful Man-to-be. Normally the ascendant C-in-C is busy working 20 hour days, cramming facts on foreign policy, meeting with multiple advisors and taking daily intelligence briefings (…meh, once a week.). Trump instead seems to be more interested in going on Twantrums [Obama, beat me? NO WAY.]. He’d be doing that regardless, of course.

This is not to take anything away from what little hard work he has done. Mostly this appears to be in service of assembling himself one hell of a cabinet. No kidding. This is certainly a group to be proud of, if you like white people.

If you love white people.

When you throw in special advisers and press secretaries, the cabinet appointees amount to 26 people so far. All but three of them are white. There are two Asian women, Nikki Haley and Elaine Chao, and one black man, Ben Carson. Those are the only exotics Trump has employed.

As white people only make up 62% of the population – a shrinking portion, as everybody knows – this is shocking. I don’t see how this isn’t a statement by Trump in support of white supremacy.

What other reason could there possibly be to choose white people for senior administration positions almost 90% of the time? When, if Trump had chosen candidates randomly from the population, he’d have at least four Hispanics in the cabinet by now? Instead of zero? The only possible argument, which I’m sure is his as well, would be “Because my people are better.” Yeah okay, got it, and Q.E.D.

Incidentally before some of you jump in and chide me that there’s an actual cabinet Latino in the position of trade czar, Peter Navarro of UC Irvine, I’ll warn you to be careful about that. Some sources like The Hill have tried to sell that angle:

The announcement about Navarro highlights how the council “will work collaboratively and synergistically” with the National Security Council, the National Economic Council and the Domestic Policy Council, but it says nothing about the USTR office…

Navarro is also one of two current Latino candidates for high-level jobs.

But a little digging into this Navarro turns up something different. Here’s something that Daniel L. Muñoz wrote for La Prensa – San Diego back in 1998:

Navarro manages to write about his political life experiences in “San Diego Confidential: A Candidate’s Odyssey” in a charming and funny way. And he still managed to “stick it” to the numerous Mexican Americans, Latinos, & Hispanic political activists who assisted in his campaign by ignoring them as so much wallpaper…

Peter Navarro, who in his several incarnations tried to pass as a `Latino,’ `Italian” and as an American Indian, would have raised all the funds he needed from the Viejas and Barona tribes and not have to humiliate and humbled himself before the economic élites in Washington D.C. or elsewhere. The utter destruction of his character and ego caused by his need to `suck’ up to the money boys led to some of the best `zingers’ in his little expose…

Apparently Navarro is no more Latino than he is Cree.

Trump anyway has recently taken note of his no-browns cabinet. So he’s begun to comb the stacks for a token to serve in his administration.

Trump met Wednesday with two Hispanic politicians at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach to discuss the possibility of taking on the agriculture post: Dr. Elsa Murano, a former U.S. agriculture undersecretary for food safety, who is Cuban-American, and Abel Maldonado, a Mexican-American who is a former California lieutenant governor and co-owner of Runway Vineyards.

Yes – he’s choosing a Latino for his Agriculture post. Yes, he chose Ben Carson for Housing and Urban Development.

Add: Women are treated with almost the same disrespect that non-whites are in Trump’s cabinet. There are currently only five appointees in 26 positions, a meager 19% proportion.

Add #2: The statistics really become absurd if you look at the white male population in his upper echelon. 20 of the current 26 appointees are from Donald’s fellow cohort, for a total of 77%. White males only make up about 31% of the country.


Hello folks. Here is the new site, under construction. I’m currently moving posts from the old place to the new. It’ll probably be about a week or so before it’s running smoothly. Until then, cheers.


Everybody’s talking ’bout the new Cohen take…

It appears sharp-eyed editorialist Richard Cohen of the Washington Post may have spotted something you missed. It’s his job to notice things happening in the world, so I wouldn’t feel too bad about it having passed right before your eyes. The holidays are after all a hectic time, with so many things to do. Some of us have been pre-occupied with the making of lists, or the wrapping of gifts. Others of us have been taken with the licking of boots, or the sandblasting of swastikas off our doors.

To begin, Cohen:

If Dec. 7, 1941, is the day that Franklin D. Roosevelt said “will live in infamy,” then Dec. 20, 2016, has got to be a close second.

Richard here is clearly only ballparking rather than quoting the president’s words. Roosevelt much more likely said “…a day that will live on as the most infamous of all-time, making it a superlative. Which of course allows you to rank other days against it in arguments and barfights, even editorials.”

No Americans died that day as they did at Pearl Harbor, but the American Century, as Time magazine founder Henry Luce called it, came to a crashing end

How’s your post-American Century going? This week? Aside from seeing an alien mothership-sized cliché grounding itself in Spielbergian slo-mo. Other than that, everything alright? And do you have any idea what the hell Cohen is talking about?

…Turkey, Iran and Russia met in Moscow to settle matters in the Middle East. The United States wasn’t even asked to the meeting.

Oh, that’s the tragedy. Middle East neighbors are meeting without us, America. Why – just because they’re big players in the area? Just because they brokered a ceasefire and evacuation in Aleppo? Talk about your chintz reasons to put a stop to Our Century. They could have waited a decade or two – until at the very least we attacked them in a World War. These superpower things are supposed to have obvious rules and traditions. At least they should have, with tens of millions dead, and 20 kiloton blasts, etc. It’s the easiest way to sort out who’s the new Big Deal, I think.

[Obama] is a 21st-century man who never quite appreciated the lessons of the 20th. He has been all too happy to preside over the loss of American influence. Aleppo, Syria, now a pile of rubble, is where countless died — as did American influence.

Seems to me Cohen’s take on international politics is closer to Glenn Frey’s more than anyone else. Look: There’s Russia, holding the Levant close (…in Damascus’ backseat?). And what are you doing? You’re walking away. And they’re1 talking behind you.

1.) Sometimes, after using such a construction, a reader understandably will ask, “What do you mean, ‘they’? Who exactly is this person?” In this case see: Cohen, Richard.

The Donald was born, ye shall slurp.

Merry Christmas! Reince Priebus’ Republican national committee has a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas tiding of courtly cheer. Now that your once-sensible world has been made anew let this be a given: On your knees, peasant.

WASHINGTON – Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Reince Priebus and Co-Chair Sharon Day released the following statement celebrating Christmas:

Keep a righteous song in your heart! Hold forth a scrimptless tithing, and a generous spirit. Let not your dogged sorrows slip whilst wagging your puny tail and pissing your paws before Him, the new sovereign.

“Over two millennia ago, a new hope was born into the world, a Savior who would offer the promise of salvation to all mankind. Just as the three wise men did on that night, this Christmas heralds a time to celebrate the good news of a new King.”

Messiah, sex criminal. Lamb of God! Grabbeth He the pussy, Prince of Piece. Don’t know about you. But if there’s a glint of something hopeful in Christmas, it’s the virgin Mary’s pooping of Donny Trump.

Chock full of bugs and sticks, hallelujah!

For a glorious Trump Christmas this year, you get a cinnamon-crusted wingnut post. You get a screed that somehow mistakes God Snapping His Fingers for billions of years of back-breaking bacterial work and hard labor. Because if I know anything at all about the Bible, it’s that God so loved the world He something something sulfide management spheroid habitable. Donald Trump notwithstanding.

“Our planet has soil like no other planet,” astronomer Hugh Ross, president and founder of Reasons to Believe, told PJ Media. He argued that the soil developed over 3 billion years, and conditions were just perfect to produce the dirt needed for advanced plants to flourish and for those plants to sustain billions of human beings. These developments point to the providence of an intelligent designer.

The Designer was apparently too obtuse to fashion a decent planet from the jump. Instead the Holy Donk brought forth a sizzling sulphurous lump that no sane organism could be fond of. After a billion years of seeing his real estate values in the tank, he finally did something about it. He unloosed a plague of Staphylococcus belchii. Then Earth got marginally more interesting, 3 billion years later when we sapiens came mewling out of the swamps. We have richly rewarded his extraordinary beneficence with baroque classical music, digital weasel porn and rubber bands. No problem, man.

“There are 22 elements in the periodic table that are vital poisons,” Ross explained. “If you’ve got too much Chromium in your diet, it will kill you. But if you don’t have enough Chromium in your diet, that will kill you, too. It’s this sulfate-reducing bacteria that brings the poisons to the just-right levels.”

It’s as if the Scythe Swinger were a passive sort. Entirely unsure about what the hell he was doing. Creating an entire cosmos then shrugging his shoulders and sitting back, chewing his fingernails. “Oh dear, what did I do? What now?” We skinbags are only living on one of his planets among billions, why would he even bother? Why would any god? Pfft.

Anyway this chucklehead argument amounts to “He finished our world with a dose of brappococcus. It’s just so Zeus, right? I mean, that’s totally him.”

Have yourself a hairy little Christmas

The ‘news’ as propaganda is not a new thing. Its been around for centuries.

Its ability to sway mainstream politics however is back in vogue, or in the bloodstream, unfortunately. Made to look legitimate by the internet, and by the spineless cretinism of Fox broadcasting, fake news is peaking now. Or so I hope. I’d hate to see what happens if it gets any more powerful, or widespread.

The [Pakistan] defense minister, Khawaja Muhammad Asif, wrote a saber-rattling Twitter post directed at Israel on Friday after a false report — which the minister apparently believed — that Israel had threatened Pakistan with nuclear weapons. Both countries have nuclear arsenals.

…you say yikes? Or holy shit?

Mr. Asif appeared to be reacting to a fake news article published on

That story, with the typo-laden headline “Israeli Defense Minister: If Pakistan send ground troops to Syria on any pretext, we will destroy this country with a nuclear attack,” appeared on the website on Dec. 20, alongside articles with headlines like “Clinton is staging a military coup against Trump.”

The fake story about Israel even misidentified the country’s defense minister, attributing quotations to a former minister, Moshe Yaalon. Israel’s current minister of defense is Avigdor Lieberman.

The Israeli Defense Ministry responded on Twitter to say the report was fictitious.

The Ministry of Defense has a Twitter account. Of course.

Every day this world looks more and more to me like a video game [Grand Theft Auto-da-fe?]. Then you throw in – sure why not? – the Elect’s early contribution to world peace…

…on Friday, Trump himself weighed in again, saying in a statement to “Morning Joe” host Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC: “Let it be an arms race. We will outmatch them at every pass and outlast them all.”

…and you’ve got yourself a hairy weekend. Cheers, libtards.

[ed. note: he’s not even sworn in yet.]