Conservatives: Give up the movies. Just stop.

Far be it from me, a musician, who spends his time practicing and not-watching America Man grow chrome stilettos out his fingers and lay low jerks like Badger Bum, to knock the snot out of our entertainment. These, apparently nowadays, are commonly known as “movies.” No I’m not that guy. No I’m not on a bender.

Like I said. Don’t care. I have things to do, I’m not impressed by hackers making pixels do backflips. I don’t understand it. But if you’re a wingnut going out of your way to call Movie People ‘communists’ because they didn’t like your Trump-meat propaganda then I’m happy to oblige. You go fuck yourself now.

How can you tell these two are legit? The mall jewelry, of course.

Your author Alex:

Alex Griswold

I am going to shock you with my investigative journalism: He’s a Notre Dame grad. Gipperrr. And he STILL lives in South Bend.

Here comes Alex’ Hot Take:

While the Oscar for Best Picture this year went to white director Peter Farrelly’s white savior flick Green Book, the Academy Awards also snubbed the most authentic take on the modern black experience that came out in 2018.

Typical Hollywood, white person, white film. Why don’t they care about an“authentic take on the modern black experience“? One more time, let’s look at that picture. And let’s contemplate the Washington Free Beacon. To wit: Good lord.

Dummycrats is a film by Diamond and Silk, the most prominent African-American conservative voices since C.J. Pearson.

*searches for for missing wallet* PEARSON you say?

The documentary shreds the eponymous “Dummycrats”…

We have got to stop doing that. Alex will keep calling us that thing as long as we’re walking around in those t-shirts.

…opening with over twenty minutes of nothing but archival footage of Democratic gaffes and ending with Diamond and Silk wandering D.C. looking for Maxine Waters. Despite it’s glowing reception…

Cellulose fire.

…the film did not receive a nod for Best Documentary due to Hollywood’s insidious left-wing bias.

Hey man. *Wha?* Did you see ‘Dummycrats’? *…..?*

OR: Hey man. Did you see that Ukrainian cable ort that I side-eyed masturbating somewhere around 4:13 a.m., between those two Geico commercials? *FULL ON SEDONA.* That opening dolly shot… *whistle*

Newsmax film critic Michael Clark gives Dummycrats four stars out of four. “You know you’re in for something really different when the opening voiceover lets you know that if you’re a liberal you might be offended by what you are about to see—especially you, Robert DeNiro,” he wrote.

Citizen Kane, voiceover: “…there it is. My mansion. That too, that’s my moat. Sweet, I totally forgot about the par four. Dogleg, 365 yards. While I’m at it, fuck you Katherine Hepburn.”

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