Durr Leader…

Last night North Korea successfully tested a powerful nuclear weapon.

…though some analysts were skeptical of the North’s claim, the early analysis indicated the device caused a blast that was roughly four times more powerful than anything the North has detonated before.

This resulted in the detonation of our own unstable device.

Taking Donald Trump’s admonitions to heart, the Republic of Korea launched an all-out early afternoon military assault on its neighbor. Tens of thousands have died in the first hours of the small world war, we’ll have details later. Meanwhile the President has done his part…

…by threatening to tank many of the world’s largest economies. China responded to American Leadership with a tweet of a three-legged Pomeranian rolling its eyes. Stay tuned to Action News! We’ll have more as the situation develops – and remember, you can always check for the latest updates on our app…

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