Who? What, wait. WHERE ARE WE?

Dateline: Today. And perhaps, moving forward, forever.

As Donald Trump this week proclaimed his support for Fascism here at home – and, we presume, across the globe – his presidency begins to grow pale and rot before our very eyes. Like a mackerel in the desert sun. Because of that, notwithstanding the smell, the media world today benefited from a notable lack of fatmouth buffoonery on its televisions.

Not a single Trump administration official appeared on today’s Sunday shows to defend the president. I’m told the White House made no serious efforts to convince officials to go on, knowing the hosts of the shows would pressure the guests relentlessly on the president’s response to the racist carnage in Charlottesville.

Jesus wept.

The White House judged it was better to have nobody out there than risk providing fuel for another 24-hour negative news cycle on Charlottesville.

Would it be unkind of me to point out that though the White House may feel like it’s trapped, it has options? That there are still some things it could do? That hope is not entirely lost? I mean, Donald could just come out and apologize. Like: “Hello America. I just want to tell all of you that I screwed up. Seriously, my bad. I’m sorry. Okay?”

Oh ha ha ha. I keed.

“Noteworthy,” Vittert observed. “We, along with a number of other networks, have all tried to get somebody from the administration to come on today and to talk about this big staff shakeup. Nobody will.”

“No member of the Trump administration is out talking about it,” the Fox News host added.

Radio host Garland Nixon agreed that the Trump administration was “on radio silence right now.”

That’s not to say that every hamhanded pighead in this country kept his snout shut today. Because we have never been that lucky, folks.

Jerry Falwell Jr. on Sunday defended President Donald Trump’s recent controversial remarks that “good” and “fine” people were marching with Nazis and white supremacists at a pro-Confederate rally in Charlottesville.

During an interview on ABC’s This Week, host Martha Raddatz asked Falwell, one of Trump’s top surrogates, to explain the president’s remarks.

“He has inside information that I don’t have,” Falwell opined. “I don’t know if there were historical purists there who were trying to preserve some statues. I don’t know. But he had information I didn’t have.”

Oh Yes. I am quite sure that tiger teams from both the CIA and National Security Administration fully briefed the President using mock ups, satellite photos and digital WHO THE FUCK IS FALWELL KIDDING? A half-done Sudoku would break Trump’s brain like a pretzel. The wind blows and Donnie starts looking around for that guy, the one with a stick. Why the hell would he know anything about whack white boys in Virginia? And WHAT THE HELL IS TO KNOW? They’re. Nazis. —–> ·

“What made you think he knew that?” Raddatz wondered.

“I think he saw videos of who was there. I think he was talking about what he had seen, information that he had that I don’t have,” Falwell insisted.

Oh Dear Morals Boy. Could you maybe shut the holy hell up? I mean, Jumping Lizard Lord on a pogo stick. No one’s buying the “Well he’s such a genius, maybe Trump has a hologram of Mother Teresa holding a flaming pike? Eleventy, anyone?” These are not po-mo quantum physics plenary symposia. THEY’RE NAZIS.

And while we’re at it, did I mention this part yet Jerry? Shut the fuck up? Seriously, take some good advice when it’s offered. If you really want to keep that sweet Jesus grift running past Arbor Day…

Former students at Liberty University are preparing to return their diplomas in a group protest of university president Jerry Falwell Jr.’s support for President Trump’s agenda.

In a group letter first reported by NPR, a small group of alumni is criticizing Falwell for supporting the president in the wake of Trump’s remarks blaming “many sides” for violence at a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Va., last weekend. The letter slams Falwell for defending Trump’s comments, specifically for his saying there were “very fine people” protesting on both sides.

Just how fucking stupid are you? You knew the sand was shifting under your feet. But you went out of your way today to be the only man in America willing to defend Donald Trump. God damn, dumbass.

One former student government president told NPR that Falwell was “complicit” in Trump’s support for “Nazis and white supremacists.”

“I’m sending my diploma back because the president of the United States is defending Nazis and white supremacists,” Chris Gaumer said. “And in defending the president’s comments, Jerry Falwell Jr. is making himself and, it seems to me, the university he represents, complicit.”

Right-wing Christians are so legendarily tolerant of resplendent evil that it took over a thousand years before a handful of them managed to say “Wait. CHILD MOLESTERS!?!” When you’ve a got a sizable group of these same folk willing to throw your chintz product back in your face, you’ve got a problem. Got that, Jerry? Like a whole host of other screwed-up Americans, if you really love Donald Trump that much…then YOU. Have a PROBLEM.

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