Hosea Trump! Omaha! Omaha! Middle East miracle…

Over above and past the looming walls of Fox News’ non-ironic non-fiction writers’ compound, I happened upon this gem:

Donald Trump – miracle worker
By Robert Charles
Published June 01, 2017

Miracle worker, seriously. How so?…you might ask. Well no, not ask – maybe implore, or perhaps, nay, to tell the scribe: Perhaps you have a brain tumor. But anyway, about this, to the point and to wit – with respect to what? The Middle East? Really?! Okay, what the heck. Go ahead and throw in Israel, too.

The world from which President Trump returns on his historic trip to Muslim Saudi Arabia, Jewish Israel, Christian Vatican, and agnostic Brussels, is different from the world prior to his trip. Hope exists where it did not, because of this trip. This is not rhetoric. It is a fact.

He’s Flipper! Flipper! Faster than elliiightning…

Without prevarication or condescension, without self-blame or pretended empathy, pretense or parsed words, the president laid it all on the line. He gambled on truth. It worked. The Middle Eastern world, groping in a darkness of rolling terror, geopolitical tumult, deteriorating civil order and unsparing recrimination, suddenly stopped.

Donald spoke. AND the whole of the Middle East came together in the aftermath, in the brotherly and beneficent kingdom of Saudi Arabia. With the blessing of HIS best words the seas of rage therein did calm, and the skies most terrible did make themselves sublime, yea dutifully, and fell altogether quiet and still. And of course THEN there were no more things anywhere anyhow for anyone at all to do.

This is just another ordinary day at Gaza’s al-Shifa hospital, where staff regularly make do with what they have.

Under the Israeli-Egyptian siege, hospitals in Gaza have been struggling for years to operate with a severe electricity shortage, but doctors now say the situation is reaching a breaking point for patients…

“Most of the babies are connected to mechanical ventilation. If the electricity is cut, most of these babies will die within a few seconds; we cannot support them,” said Dr Allam Abu Hamida, director of al-Shifa’s NICU.

Don’t ding me, I’m perfectly happy to lay kudos at President Trump’s feet. But I know the credit here belongs to people even smarter/more terrible than he is.

More from the Riyadh miracle:

Leaders of the three major faiths paused, listened and responded – positively. Said the United Arab Emirates Minister of Foreign Affairs, “Bravo President Trump,” adding an “effective and historic speech defining approach towards extremism and terrorism with candid respect and friendship.”

Said Egypt’s President, Abdel Fattah al-Sisi after the speech, President Trump is “a unique personality that is capable of doing the impossible…”

Woo doggie. If only al-Sisi had actually said that “after the speech”. I’d more likely believe that Donald was the Lamb of Arabia.

On Sunday, President Trump held one-on-one meetings with Arab leaders ahead of his first major international speech

“You are a unique personality that is capable of doing the impossible,” Egyptian president Abdel Fattah el-Sisi told him during their sitdown. According to the New York Times, a cheerful Trump responded, “I agree!”

Then, perhaps sensing he should think of something nice to say back, the president followed up with, “Love your shoes. Boy, those shoes. Man!”

Woof, you get the point. It’s Fox News, and this is a slurp job.

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