A candy-colored clown they call the sandman (in dreams)…

I don’t enjoy seeing my country torn apart by shameless lying, political chaos or naked treason. I’d prefer the folks in charge merely do whatever it is they’re supposed to do without making a fuss. But if we’re going to suffer through bad times – and with Donald Trump those are guaranteed – then I’ll take my entertainment wherever I can get it, perverse as that might be.

While the rest of us now have to keep up with the daily crimes of Trump while trying not to shear our shaking heads off, like one of those talcum-and-graphite extras in a Tool video, Trump’s believers are having an altogether different experience. Though you could also say they’re astonished at someone’s behavior, that someone would be us. We’re the ones who are committing something like crimes.

All This Impeachment Talk Is Pure Trump Derangement Syndrome

Well this didn’t take long, did it?

This is the libertarian take at Reason.

Donald Trump, the most-unlikely and least-liked president in the history of the United States, had barely celebrated his first 100 days when calls for his impeachment started flying faster than Anthony Weiner dick pics at a Girl Scout cookout.

Nick Gillespie, Fonzie of Freedom, isn’t much interested in Trump’s impressing, pressing, firing and then Tweet-threatening James Comey. The FBI Director was reportedly investigating somebody important about something at the time, but you know how the lamestream media are.

For the good of democracy, don’t you see, the Republicans must not only be kicked to the curb in the 2018 midterms, but the president himself must be thrown into the street, just like he once tried to evict that old lady from her house in Atlantic City!

Italics his, as well his use of short-sheeting irony. If you think he can’t keep up the Neslon Muntz act for an entire post, well…

That man in the White House is vulgar, disrespectul, maybe even dangerous. So what?…the 1990s called, they want their sex scandals back!

…think again. Credit Nick for trying “They hate him even more now AMIRITE?!” as the ultimate head-desk take.

For something a little more adult, in the murder mystery vein, try this guy:

Gregg Jarrett: Comey’s revenge is a gun without powder

James Comey was lying in wait.

His gun was cocked, he took aim and fired. But his weapon was empty…

Jarrett is an attorney and a Fox News regular. You can bet his phone is full of voicemails from the boys upstairs.

Now, only after Comey was fired, the memo magically surfaces in an inflammatory New York Times report which alleges that Mr. Trump asked Comey to end the Michael Flynn investigation.

…Comey is required to immediately inform the Department of Justice of any attempt to obstruct justice by any person, even the President of the United States. Failure to do so would result in criminal charges against Comey. (18 USC 4 and 28 USC 1361) He would also, upon sufficient proof, lose his license to practice law.

What’s this all about? Well, I’m guessing it’s now Jarrett’s job to do something with the dead body. So he’s propping it up with a coat rack and shuffling its feet around with his hands.

But by writing a memo, Comey has put himself in a box. If he now accuses the President of obstruction, he places himself in legal jeopardy for failing to promptly and properly report it. If he says it was merely an uncomfortable conversation, he clears the president of wrongdoing and sullies his own image as a guy who attempted to smear the man who fired him.

Either way, James Comey comes out a loser…

If all this sounds senseless to you allow me to throw in my two cents, at least as much as I understand it. Jarrett is putting forth a legal argument you might call the “Five Second Rule.” If Trump somehow obstructed justice with respect to the FBI Director, what follows is a test of legal sufficiency and human will. James Comey has a mere few minutes to run over to the Supreme Court with his hair on fire and collapse on the front steps. Unfortunately ‘minutes’ is not much time and, once it’s up, then It’s All Entirely Legal, Jimbo. Also something something hummina you have the right to remain silent, hump.

Speaking of time, mine is short but before I go let’s get some other reactions. Paul Ryan?

“We need the facts. It is obvious there are some people out there who want to harm the president, but we have an obligation to carry out our oversight regardless of which party is in the White House, and that means, before rushing to judgment, we get all the pertinent information.”

Trump is the victim here – there’s a meme for you. As usual a prominent Republican is being unfairly accused of subverting democracy, molesting teen boys, shotgunning friends in the face while drunk, etc. Also:

“I’m sure we’re going to hear from Mr. Comey about why, if this happened as he describes, why he didn’t take action at the time,” Ryan said. “So there are a lot of unanswered questions.”

Comey is the real bad guy. That’s the other meme. Whatever the FBI Director did, I’m sure it’s a whole lot worse than anything that humble public servant Donald Trump has done. And you know that Comey is a Republican, right? Fat lot of good that will do him in the coming weeks and months…


He makes it harder to lie, doesn’t he?

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