The most insufferably Ross Douthat thing ever

Jesus Christ, the stupid.

…I’ll be proposing — yes, I’m that predictable — that many of this newspaper’s secular liberal readers should head en masse to church.

Ross Douthat has no idea whatsoever that he’s Ross Douthat.

…I have theories about how this [congregational] collapse reveals the weaknesses of liberalism in religion. But my theological-sociological vindication isn’t worth the cost of mainline Christianity’s decline. For the sake of their country, their culture and their very selves, liberal post-Protestants should find a mainline congregation and starting attending every week.

Why do fewer and fewer people go to church? Because all you liberals. And so what’s happened? Your country and your culture are now collapsing. Your own selves are coming apart at the seams – or haven’t you noticed? Douthat’s personal Bible is printed on hemp, which is a lot chewier than he thought. Amazing how comfortable a large man can get so far up his tiny ass.

This may be the stupidest thing ever written by anybody, ever. Back when America was a far more church-going nation, America was far more evil. It was less tolerant, less diverse and certainly less likely to see justice meted out in any way that wasn’t predictably wealth and color-obsessed. It was more frightening, more arbitrary, more violent, and run by The White Man for the benefit of white men. And they damn sure all called it Glorious! and Godly! and Free! and it was entirely bullshit.

The wider experience of American politics suggests that as liberalism de-churches it struggles to find a nontransactional organizing principle, a persuasive language of the common good…

So what if Ross’ Catholicism has a “language of the common good”? What good is it when it’s meaningless? Who cares if someone has actually written a Vulcan Language Dictionary?

The two-faced America is the America that earnest white man Ross Douthat would have us all return to. How exactly are we supposed to manage that? Well, he’s asking you to pretty please Go Back To Church. Because once you take your old seats in your old pews, POOF the gawd-magic will happen and all that stuff about black lives and driverless cars and mp3 buffering will disappear. Fuck him.

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