Donald is but King Cuckoo

Because I’ve said, many times, that Donald Trump is a man haunted by Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I could have done an ‘I told you so’ dance here on the blog this morning, after the President…

…accused former president Barack Obama of orchestrating a “Nixon/Watergate” plot to tap the phones at his Trump Tower headquarters last fall in the run-up to the election.

Trump said in a series of five tweets sent Saturday morning that Obama was “wire tapping” his New York offices before the election in a move he compared to McCarthyism. “Bad (or sick) guy!”

But now is not a good time for such things. Because I know that for you normals out there, this is shocking. I know this is bad. I know this is probably the most dangerously insane thing any president has ever said in your lifetime. And now you’re wondering if you’re safe living in the vicinity of a nuked-up nutball.

Okay I understand, but cheer up. It gets worse.

A cursory perusal of reactions to Trump’s letting his fribble-bat fly tells us about half of rightwingers who bloviate online believe Donald is on to something here. They’re quite energized by the revelations, thank you Herr Kook Poirot. No one has to strain to hear the internet halls resounding with barbaric yawps as they’re hot on the heels of Barack Obama, a man who has done dastardly evil things to a good president, not to mention his lovely Tower, etc..

Assrocket, for example, works himself into a sympathetic psychosis.

This is the most explosive political allegation in many years, far more explosive than Watergate. Is it true?

Do tell, John! You’re the one person capable of knowing whether a screwball fantasy is, beyond facts or liberal-biased reality, in fact true. Lay it on us man.

I assume it has some basis in fact, e.g., Trump’s security people may have told him that they detected a tap on one or more of his phone lines.

That’s probably it. It wouldn’t be that Mark Levin ululated some paranoid hooley on his radio program, only to have it re-posted by, which was then in turn read by a salmon fruitcake in the middle of the night. I’m sure it was “Trump’s security people” that pulled a handful of smoking wires from a Tower conduit stamped ‘PROPERTY OF B. HUSSEIN OBAMA’ on its side.

Incidentally there’s an even more logical reaction to Donald’s allegation, known in web-parlance as “WTF?!” But absent any other evidence for “Holy shit, everybody RUN” just go with that first one. It’s quite sensible.

I have no idea how that works, or why it would only be detected now, or how the presence of a wire tap could be connected to the Obama administration. But it seems unlikely that Trump would make such a dynamite allegation without some kind of support.

PRESIDENT: I first became aware of it, John, during the physical act of love. A profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness that followed.


PRESIDENT: Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly.


PRESIDENT: Loss of Essence.

ASSROCKET: You. Just blew. My mind.

At this point, it is all quite mysterious. But the claim is nuclear, and I can’t believe it is wholly without basis. Stay tuned!

UPDATE: Scott emails:

“Someone in the intelligence/law enforcement bureaucracy had a applied for a FISA warrant to tap the Trump people in June, It was turned down. Renewed and granted in October, I think. The details are out there. That’s what he’s talking about.”

And here we are. This current minute’s incarnation of Watergate times eleventy, brought to you by the makers of thorazine […it’s not just for cabinet-level appointees anymore…], with a provenance looking something like: Levin –> Breitbart –> President Trump –> 4 a.m. on Twitter –> Assrocket in an isolation tank –> security team in a building basement –> Obama in a pair of carpenter pants –> FISA court in a powerball lotto machine –> IT’S ALL OUT THERE. I’m only surprised John and Scott didn’t put this all together yesterday, you know? Seeing as how no-facts-whatsoever were revealed by Trump this morning. Apparently all you need to expose a seamless conspiracy is a batty president and some wide-eyed bloggers.

If the Obama administration abused the FISA process to wiretap a political opponent, it is a scandal of the first order–the worst political scandal of my lifetime, easily. And the press has known about it and covered it up? Unbelievable.

And there it is! A fitting word! A mélange of letters and syllables arranged in such a manner as to convey meaning. Sitting right there in front of John, mocking him. ‘Tis is a wonder, all the things he can type with his eyes closed.

But if this is a story that has been out there for a while, why does Trump say he “just found out”? Sounds like at a minimum there are new developments. We will see.

No, “we” won’t.

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