And now Trump’s pal says bad things that are stupid.

Hedge fund billionaire and Trump pal Tom Barrack wangled a few column inches at CNN.com to tell America please give The Leader a break. Here’s the gist: Dontcha remember that Ronald Reagan fella? Didn’t he ruffle a few feathers? After awhile wasn’t he great n’ awesome? OKAY.

What I love about these pater rich guy prompts, and Tom’s particularly, is the self-assuredness behind the fumbling prose, flailing of words and failed syntax. These nabobs all seem to think that writing words is a little thing they mastered long ago, about the same time they fobbed their times tables off on Missus Nelson.

As a very young man barely rounding the corner on 30, I had the opportunity to witness and view the Reagan revolution by serving as an enthusiastic and blindly optimistic apprentice in his administration.

Someone who’s 30, or rounding 30, or “barely rounding the corner on 30” – lyrical! – isn’t “very young”, Rimbaud. In addition to Poet’s Grippe, Tom here has two crippling ailments. One: he can’t let an adjective go without spanking its ass. The sky isn’t blue, it’s midnight blue. It’s midnight navy blue. It’s crystalline midnight azure navy blue. He’s not just bad about this, he’s recidivist redundant dead horse bad about it.

Two: he can’t finish a sentence without and and and. They sky is navy and blue. It’s azure and midnight and blue. The ether and the firmament and sky are is royal and navy and deep dark cobalt and cyan peacock indigo blue. Ugh.

Like President Reagan before him, President Trump is beginning a White House journey with a rocky and tumultuous introduction in the midst of great division, discontent and confusion among a very diverse and conflicted American and foreign constituency. I cannot help but reflect on the parallels of these two administrations as a compass for clarity and direction.

How sad inadequate and sorrowful.

However, the bureaucracy must be amended, adopted, nourished, realigned, incentivized and held accountable. If not, the machinery itself, not the people who run it, become corroded and corrupt. Without constant supervision and monitoring, the bureaucracy will both grow in size and diminish in efficacy.

Very much substandard and shoddy bollocks. Shameful and unfortunate, and honestly really no kidding.

Here’s the point Tom’s getting at, though: Donald Trump is bent on changing everything. Okay? And this is exactly what we need.

…President Trump is causing many legacy institutions to feel challenged as they scramble with the change that he is stewarding. The inertia and momentum of the government does not naturally lend itself to new methods of communication, thinking and negotiation.

Then again what’s foremost in Americans’ minds? Stability. Which is what good government is all about.

The bureaucracy is not the enemy but an essential ingredient to our success… An entrenched establishment is a safeguard, not a terminal illness.

Thankfully Donald Trump is about to change all that.

…the bureaucracy must be amended, adopted, nourished, realigned, incentivized and held accountable. If not, the machinery itself, not the people who run it, become corroded and corrupt.

But don’t worry, no one can upend the government – and why would they want to? That would be bad!

Without an unwavering entrenched establishment providing bureaucratic stability, our democratic system would cease to function in the ever-changing winds of temporal political shifts.

(…it’s not change, no. It’s the changing winds. Actually, it’s the ever-changing winds. I mean, it’s the ever-changing winds of politics. One more time, it’s the ever-changing winds of political shifts. *deep breath*..3..2..1… it’s the ever-changing winds of temporal political shifts. Waitress I’ll have the hash…)

So you see, Donald Trump has come to Washington D.C. to reform our federal government. Which thank god is forever immutable and rock steady by design, wholesome as mother’s milk. And that’s great, isn’t it? Just fantastic (…give him a chance).

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