Trump’s alternative reality

Donald Trump (Didja know? He’s a big deal now) remains utterly obsessed with the established fact that though he won the electoral college, making him president of the United States, he lost the popular election. By millions of votes. To a girl.

On Monday, President Trump gathered House and Senate leaders in the State Dining Room for a get-to-know-you reception, served them tiny meatballs and pigs-in-a-blanket, and quickly launched into a story meant to illustrate what he believes to be rampant, unchecked voter fraud.

No baloney boats? Si vulgaire.

When one of the Democrats protested, Mr. Trump said he was told a story by “the very famous golfer, Bernhard Langer,” whom he described as a friend, according to three staff members who were in the room for the meeting.

…The three witnesses recall the story this way: Mr. Langer, a 59-year-old native of Bavaria, Germany…was standing in line at a polling place near his home in Florida on Election Day, the president explained, when an official informed Mr. Langer he would not be able to vote…

Hoo boy. This is gonna be good.

Ahead of and behind Mr. Langer were voters who did not look as if they should be allowed to vote, Mr. Trump said, according to the staff members — but they were nonetheless permitted to cast provisional ballots. The president threw out the names of Latin American countries that the voters might have come from.

Mr. Langer, whom he described as a supporter, left feeling frustrated, he said.

OK to recap: Our German friend was stuck in between people who looked like they could have been from Panama, or Argentina. And when they all got to the registrar’s table, what happened? The white guy was cast aside aside in favor of the brown ones. He was told to go home, and they were allowed to vote! Sort of, provisionally, until their citizenship and residential bona fides were assured – but can you believe that? Obviously our democracy is a massive joke.

It’s a wonder Donald didn’t lose by 50 million or something. Are we lucky to have the electoral college, or what?

The anecdote, the aides said, was greeted with silence, and Mr. Trump was prodded to change the subject by Reince Priebus, the White House chief of staff, and Senator John Cornyn, Republican of Texas.

Awkward. Your personality disorder is showing, dear, please cover your dysfunction. This last bit deftly places the cherry on top Trump’s cake:

Just one problem: Mr. Langer, who lives in Boca Raton, Fla., is a German citizen with permanent residence status in the United States who is, by law, barred from voting, according to Mr. Langer’s daughter Christina.

“He is a citizen of Germany,” she said, when reached on her father’s cellphone. “He is not a friend of President Trump’s, and I don’t know why he would talk about him.”

So it seems Langer, either intentionally or accidentally, tried to commit an act of voter fraud. The system caught and politely denied the attempt. The ‘Latin Americans’ however could have been proper U.S. citizens, so they were given provisional ballots and later vetted for status and eligibility. Exactly as the system is designed to do.

And this inspiring tale of dutiful government came by way our new president? Makes me want to cry.

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