Day one, or day three, after a po’ boy and a nap…

Look out world here comes The Most Awesome. President. Ever.

President-elect Donald Trump has a busy Inauguration Day ahead of him — in between the oath of office and the inaugural balls, he’s pledged to take some “big league” actions as part of a Day One agenda that will set the tone for his presidency.

That’s right – On. Day. One. BOOM goes the dynamite, America.

He repeatedly promised to “eliminate every unconstitutional executive order” — referring specifically to Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) and Deferred Action for Parents of Americans (DAPA), which granted legal status to illegal immigrants brought to the U.S. as children, or who have children who are citizens or legal residents.

Additionally, he has pledged to suspend immigration from terror-prone regions where vetting cannot be properly done. And he’s vowed to instruct the State Department to “immediately suspend the Syrian refugee resettlement program” and develop a plan for a safe zone in the region.

Trump also says he intends to ask Congress to pass “Kate’s Law”… In a speech in Gettysburg, Pa., in October, he promised to yank federal funding from so-called “sanctuary cities” on his first day.

Donald will be a whirlwind of kicking ass and taking names. Deporting Mexicans, denying war orphans asylum – #makingamericagreat. It’s all going to be Huge. And Awesome. Quite sizable, large, and great – again (SWIDT?).

…he also pledged to direct the Department of Labor to investigate “all abuses of visa programs that undercut the American worker” on his first day in office.

His most famous campaign promise — a wall on the southern border — also has been supposedly slated for Day One action. In a speech in September in Phoenix, Ariz., Trump said on his first day, “we will begin working on an impenetrable, physical, tall, power, beautiful southern border wall”…

He also promised the U.S. will begin deporting the approximately 2 million criminal illegal immigrants in the country… “Day one, my first hour in office, those people are gone,” he said.

So I suppose we should all get the hell ready for Friday. Because its going to be one of the greatest days in American history. It’s going to be like if John Wayne made a 3-D porn video in an Indian cyclone, with politics, if that were possible. But then it has to be possible because God Dammit it’s The Donald. He is the total Best, the A-Number-One chief top shelf unobtainium-plated mega-MAGA…

Donald Trump said the first order he’ll sign as president will be to create “strong borders,” but he’ll be doing that Monday, after taking the weekend off…

“…[D]ay one – which I will consider to be Monday as opposed to Friday or Saturday. Right? I mean my day one is gonna be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration.”

…piker. Really, a shiftless son of a bitch. And if China invades Taiwan over the weekend? Are we supposed to flag down Donald on the fifteenth hole? Obama can’t do anything, so says the Twentieth Amendment. What then?

This man has no idea what he’s gotten himself into.

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