The Donald was born, ye shall slurp.

Merry Christmas! Reince Priebus’ Republican national committee has a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas tiding of courtly cheer. Now that your once-sensible world has been made anew let this be a given: On your knees, peasant.

WASHINGTON – Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Reince Priebus and Co-Chair Sharon Day released the following statement celebrating Christmas:

Keep a righteous song in your heart! Hold forth a scrimptless tithing, and a generous spirit. Let not your dogged sorrows slip whilst wagging your puny tail and pissing your paws before Him, the new sovereign.

“Over two millennia ago, a new hope was born into the world, a Savior who would offer the promise of salvation to all mankind. Just as the three wise men did on that night, this Christmas heralds a time to celebrate the good news of a new King.”

Messiah, sex criminal. Lamb of God! Grabbeth He the pussy, Prince of Piece. Don’t know about you. But if there’s a glint of something hopeful in Christmas, it’s the virgin Mary’s pooping of Donny Trump.

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