Conbloggers: Happy Thanksgiving and goodbye, losers

Pardon Assrocket if he seems a little distracted right now because he is entirely in his glory. He can hardly catch his breath after two weeks of you suck Lindy-Hopping.

Powerline blog radiates John’s post-election mood. The writers are now almost entirely given to running from side-to-side in the Eagle’s Nest and pointing at wounded Dems below [Zum wohl! Prost!]. If they’d never made a stink about these folks before – the Moonbats, and John had for sure, admit it – then how lame is this, right?

The liberal freakout over the election is likely to turn into at least a four-year Broadway show (apparently Broadway is the only safe space for liberalism right now, to read the paranoid rantings of the mononoids of the left). Here’s the latest communication from The Nation, with my comments in brackets:

“Dear Friend of The Nation,

“A country in which a presidential candidate with a lead of almost 2 million votes doesn’t become president is not a democracy. It is a scandal.” [No, it’s called the Constitution, but thanks for playing. And thanks for being so explicit that you hate the Constitution.]

…the happy feet, there they go. “It’s a little thing called The Constitution bitchez, but thanks for playing.” He’d probably add a “Talk To The Hand” except for the fact that, you know, it’s currently busy. But give our blogger a moment to finish, then he’ll pile on some more.

Democrats are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that they lost the presidential election. Now they are threatening to kill Republican electors unless they switch allegiance and vote for Hillary Clinton when the electoral college meets on December 19. The Detroit News reports:

“Trump’s opponents have deluged [Michael] Banerian and other GOP electors with pleas and nasty emails to reverse course and cast their ballots for Clinton, according to the Michigan Republican Party.

“’You have people saying ‘you’re a hateful bigot, I hope you die,’ he said.”

Democrats apparently have had all sense of irony surgically removed.

Yes the true bigots of the world are the anti-bigots. We should probably get used to this dodge, as well as to the future protected hate crimes status for John’s friends who happen to have pale skin, or Klavern affiliations, or Sammy Hagar CDs, etc.

For today, though, a special holiday-Muntz HA HA from Assrocket, with typical good cheer:

Democrats Prepare to Enjoy the Holidays

Those Democrats sure know how to have a good time. While the rest of us are looking forward to family reunions and delicious turkey dinners, the Democratic Party is coaching its faithful on how to win political arguments. This is from the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, a “Guide to Thanksgiving With Your Republican Relatives.”

Click to enlarge:


No cheating. Just because Fox News has burnished its tired clichés into your right-wing friends’ cortices doesn’t mean the Democratic party can do the same. Everybody – your pals and you – are all in agreement on this: Talking points are their way of life. For you, however, what are you trying to do?! Ruin a perfectly good evening? Sheesh… […and now we move on, to Scene 17. WHERE you are stuck sitting at your own dinner table, next to your own Uncle Lucky, the real charmer. Ready? And ACTION: “…like some potatoes, Uncle Lucky?” “Why, I sure would, thank you. [pause] Say Missy, I been meaning to ask you. How’d that election go for you? *giggles* Nice gravy by the way, izzat some sorta Hillary recipe?” …and cut. Thanks everybody, all very natural, now get out of my house.]

One of the things I am thankful for this year is that there won’t be anyone at our Thanksgiving dinner who comes armed with partisan talking points in hopes of winning arguments with his or her relatives.

All together: Projection much? What’s so remarkable about Trump’s Tiger-bloods isn’t that they’re rejoicing in our manifest loserdom. It’s that they’re even less capable of the slightest bit of self-awareness. No one is more likely to ruin a holiday than an alt-nut. No one is more relentlessly self-righteous and argumentative. No one else needs you to grok the boundless dangers of failing to appeal to the Rust Belt white male.

And only Assrocket’s Holiday Powerline could do this: Make a big stink about somebody’s inability to get along with others while simultaneously prodding readers to erect their own Apartheid:


…when it looked to me like Hillary Clinton would win, I recommended that, going forward, conservatives “maintain a status apart.”… What happened to Mike Pence at “Hamilton” reinforces my view.

This is the third most popular post on the site, below the two “petty loser!” entries I excerpted above.

By maintaining a status apart, I mean refusing to subsidize or participate much in left-wing institutions. This might mean changing the school your children attend, or switching to a different religious congregation, or cancelling a newspaper subscription (you can stay abreast of left-wing views online for free), or boycotting most Hollywood productions.

Powerline would prefer the true believers pull out of the district school, drive cross-county to the backwoods church, and cancel their subscriptions to the Daily Breeze in favor of the Global End Times. It also would prefer they refuse to take their children (now friendless and tired – whhhy?) to the opening of the next Pixar kindergasm, even though this national contest, the presidential election, they won (…oops, my bad. Not so much ‘the election’ as won ‘the Electoral College’. The votes of the citizens, not even close.).

You talk about petty. Assrocket here is on the ups, he can’t believe how wonderfully obvious everything is, and how all the people he so detested are so detestable. Those jerks, I mean can you believe them? They can’t even manage to come see us at Thanksgiving without screwing it up! But then: Incidentally, by the way, after tonight we probably won’t be around any more. You won’t see us again. Don’t bother sending out a libtard search party because we decided we can’t spend time in the usual places with you people any more. Because you’re a serious threat to our children, country, lives, etc.

And here we are, trying to memorize a few lines to get through the evening. Here they are, thinking how typical that is of atomic waste, or something.

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