Trump’s taxes mean nothing, you people shut up

It’s not like losing $915,729,213 in a single year is a big deal. I mean if you think that losing $915,729,213 in only twelve months tells you something about a businessman’s capability, or acumen, or sanity, you’re just wrong. If you think that it’s a big deal well, mister, you don’t understand business. That says a lot more about you than about Him, pal. You don’t know anything about multi-tentacled epi-tranches, or holdover chits, or market quasi-nobbery, or our tax system. Speaking of which, it’s far too refractory a centralized asymmetry for you to see any paperwork from, OK? You shush. Let’s just be honest here: You’ll never know what it’s like. To be Rich. To be Great. To be…Thee. Man.

You should vote for him (…like us on Facebook!).

CLINTON: For 40 years, everyone running for president has released their tax returns. You can go and see nearly, I think, 39, 40 years of our tax returns, but everyone has done it.

…maybe he doesn’t want the American people, all of you watching tonight, to know that he’s paid nothing in federal taxes, because the only years that anybody’s ever seen were a couple of years when he had to turn them over to state authorities when he was trying to get a casino license, and they showed he didn’t pay any federal income tax.

TRUMP: That makes me smart.

Oh please. More than that…

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS (HOST): So what’s your response to this story?

RUDY GIULIANI: My response is, he’s genius. I mean the reality is —

STEPHANOPOULOS: A genius?

GIULIANI: Absolute genius. The man, in The Art of the Deal this is described, first of all we are talking about 26 years ago, perfectly legal. We should get that straight immediately. It’s a perfectly legal application of the tax code and he would have been a fool not to take advantage of it.

If he’d paid a penny in income taxes he’d have been a fool. A pigeon. A chump. Donald Trump would have been thoroughly completely unqualified to be president. If he’d paid anything to the government he probably would have been breaking the law, okay? YOU GET ME? Nobody wants that. Nobody wants a tax-paying scofflaw for president, right?


ADD: …divided by nincompoop…carry the shambles…my armchair math says ole’ Mammon Mega-Mensa was pissing away over 2.5 million dollars every day, 7 days a week. Which is a lot more money than I’ll earn in my entire life, but of course I’m a loser.

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