Trump is a liberal monster, of course

Hard to believe that it took so long, but it did. It wasn’t for lack of sleuthing Jim Lewis will tell you. After reading Esquire and Time magazines, having taken in a show at The Met, not long after finding an old copy of Das Kapital with all the juicy bits highlighted, Jim pulled out his cultural decoder ring and I’ll be darned if everything that was so confusing about this year’s presidential campaign didn’t now make perfect sense. Donald Trump is a creation of the liberal establishment!

The man didn’t emerge, all at once and fully formed, from some hidden and benighted hollow in the American psyche. He’s been kicking around for 30 years or more, and he was promoted and schooled, made famous and made wealthy, by the same culture and economy that now reviles him, and finds his success so vexing.

Now now, there’s no point in continuing to deny what we’ve hidden for so long. The people who “promoted and schooled” young Donald – literally, the New York Military Academy – are a well-known local bunch of libertarian socialists. Unless perhaps Jim was referring to the place where Comrade later went to shock-troop finishing school, the Wharton School of Anarcho-Syndicalism. You’ll get no argument from me, or Captain Trump, as to how a young man’s formative years influence his later life.

After all, it wasn’t some Klan newsletter that first brought Trump to our attention: It was Time and Esquire and Spy. The Westboro Baptist Church didn’t give him his own TV show: NBC did. And his boasts and lies weren’t posted on Breitbart, they were published by Random House. He was created by people who learned from Andy Warhol, not Jerry Falwell, who knew him from galas at the Met, not fundraisers at Karl Rove’s house…

Donald wasn’t some backwoods yokel from a Mississippi klavern, or a former congregant of the Westboro Baptists (Kansas), or a bug-eyed preacher hosanna-ing his way out of Jerry Falwell’s back pocket (Lychburg, Virginia). You won’t even find him in Karl Rove’s rolodex (Republic of Texas). And are you beginning to see Jim’s point about Donald being a homeschooled liberal who somehow went astray? [hint: New York, New York, it’s a wonderful town.] That’s how politics works, right? You’re like all the other people in whatever city you come from. NOBODY could be a right-wing business douche in a leftist Eden like the Big Apple. I mean, that’s silly.

…his original audience was presented to him by Condé Nast, not Guns & Ammo. He owes his celebrity, his money, his arrogance, and his skill at drawing attention to those coastal cultural gatekeepers — presumably mostly liberal — who first elevated him out of general obscurity, making him famous and rewarding him (and, not at all incidentally, themselves) for his idiocies.

Warhol and the guys from the Velvet Underground happened to be crashing in one of Trump’s highrises, tying off in a roomy closet, when they happened to meet the landlord in person. They thought this guy Donald was “pretty groovy,” so you can guess what happened next: The boys formed a non-fiction non-profit publishing house to promote his neo-New Deal takes on big buildings, big money and big dicks because WE ALL LIVE in an eighties penthouse scene, an eighties penthouse scene. If there’s one thing the real estate and art mavens from New York have in common, it’s pretty much everything because they’re the same people – from New York, you fool.

If you think that sounds stupid and smug, imagine how it sounds to people out in the rest of the country. Liberals were sure the devil would come slouching out of Alabama or Texas, beating a bible and shouting about sodomy and sin. They didn’t expect him to be a businessman who lives on Fifth Avenue and 57th Street.

Oh that sounds so intelligent. And so like us! I can’t imagine a big deal Republican ever coming from California (Reagan, Nixon). Or a union busting crusader coming from dark-blue Wisconsin (Scott Walker). But you’d surely never expect a self-regarding model-boinking narcissist to come from New York. And even if you could have predicted the existence of such a person you’d never imagine he’d run for President!

president trump

Anyone incidentally ever heard of Governor George Pataki? Or the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie? Isn’t it amazing how other people (not me) make complex arguments from simple assumptions and still end up being wrong? But then you get to write stuff about them, and it’s fun!

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