Evangelicals, once again, down on their knees

It is damning … no. It is more than that. It is disturbing how diseased and amoral these evangelicals are.

Last August, President Trump sat behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office and looked me straight in the eyes…

Oh dear god.

…With a look of reflection and purposefulness, he discussed his upbringing and fondly recalled a vivid childhood memory from the 1950s: watching Billy Graham sermons on television with his father.

The President lowered his head, briefly. And gazed contently at Jynx Maze, between his knees, engaging him in oral sex. “You like that, bitch, don’t you?” he sighed.

“My father was a fan of Billy Graham,” the president said. He recalled how his father, Fred, attended the historic 1957 New York City Crusade.

“Madison Square Garden, boy that takes me back,” Donald said. “First time Dad took me there, he pointed out where he’d been arrested at a Klan rally, right around the corner. Back in 1927, can you believe that?” Trump recalled, shaking his head. “Fred didn’t take shit from anyone, certainly not the wop Catholics.”

Mr. Graham, who died last week at 99, brought both evangelism and evangelicalism into the mainstream of American culture.

“What did he make selling that Bible stuff? 25 million?” Donald chuckled. “Hell, I dropped that much on Trump University plaintiffs alone. I won the election, cut a check, and had it Fed-Exed to Mike in like two minutes,” he waved his hand. “Done. Goodbye assholes.” His eyes narrowed. “You know bless Billy, I know he thought they were all taking us down the drain, but I can’t imagine not having a Jew lawyer. They’re like bulldogs. Just the best.”

Meanwhile, young Donald grew to be successful, wealthy and famous — culminating with his becoming the leader of the free world.

“I told Melania, I said it’s been good. But it’s been much more work than I thought. And there really aren’t that many great places, frankly.” Donald shrugged, as if to acknowledge a simple fact. “There are a lot of shitholes, okay? That’s just the truth. There are a lot of places like Haiti or Africa full of people with AIDS living in huts.” He paused briefly. “And we can’t have them all come here, okay?” He raised the index finger of his hand, to make a point. “Every one of my restaurants has a security guard out front. Every building has a doorman. You can’t let everybody in. That’s just the way it is. What do you want us to be – Mexico…?”

Obviously, this is like shooting catfish in a thimble. I could do this all day long. So shall we fast forward past the blowjob at the altar? Ugh, yes.

Jimmy Carter was once the evangelical candidate. How did that work out in the macro? George W. Bush was the evangelical candidate in 2000: He pushed traditional conservative policies, but he doesn’t come close to Mr. Trump’s courageous blunt strokes in defense of evangelicals.

…defense of evangelicals? He’s completely exposed them. The only people I’ve ever come across with less palpable character or guiding principles are 1). The criminal class, and 2.) The seriously mentally ill. You know, monsters with personality disorders, psychopaths and the like. And for that, ironically, I can say ‘Thank God’.

It may seem mystifying to outsiders, but for someone like me, with a front-row seat to an inside view, it makes perfect sense. Maybe they’re taking their cue from Billy Graham, embracing presidents with moral failings rather than rejecting them.

OR maybe, like Billy, they’re racist fucking frauds.

The politics of the politics of fear

The survivors of the Parkland shooting have done a remarkable job of dusting themselves off, washing away the blood, and saying, “Well that sucked. Wait – how did we GET HERE?” After which they followed up, understandably, with a few choice post-funeral comments for the gun crowd, on the order of “You people are not adults.”

To which the gun crowd sat cowering in their corners, murmuring about the Constitution, meeping about defenseless domiciles, and feeling altogether once again like America’s True Victims. Until, apparently, today.

Because today the Cowardly Lion, aka pre-WWII technicolor talking head Wayne LaPierre, gave them their marching orders. “Once more unto the breach, dear friends. Fear.”

“Socialism is a movement that loves a smear,” he said.

Not that LaPierre would dare smear any of the survivors, who have been outspoken in their grief and anger. Not that the same shaky survivors would ever be dismissed as “crisis actors” and “FBI plants” by Wayne’s shriveled members. Not that Wayne would in any way bolster the gun nuts’ frightening, reactionary politics.

…LaPierre warned Democrats would use the tragedy to push an agenda that went beyond gun control. “What they want is more restrictions on the law-abiding,” LaPierre said. “They want to sweep right under the carpet the failure of school security.”

Where else in the world is “school security” held to such a standard? In a handful of war-torn hellholes. But if even one American school isn’t capable of repelling a well-planned attack, at any time, from a suicidal lunatic armed with rifles and pistols, hand grenades and IEDs, then we have failed. And by “we” Wayne clearly means “liberals”, because of course the socialist scourge of gun-free zones, machine-gun-free cafeterias, and cannon-free playgrounds. Funny how Wayne’s arguments always end up in the same place.

Staring out into the audience, LaPierre told them “you should be anxious and you should be frightened” about the potential of another Democratic takeover of the House, Senate and White House.

“If they seize power … our American freedoms could be lost and our country will be changed forever,” he said.

Even before employing the politics of fear, prominently here, Wayne is employing the politics of politics. Because he can’t argue for his position: Guns. He can’t defend the one thing the survivors are upset about: The AR-15. There’s no argument for the AR-15. So he’s got to go about this by other means.

What else has he got? He’s got popular perception. Political memes. And Fox News. He’s got the whole of right-wing politics. That’s how the CEO of a gun lobby (?) ends up somehow speaking so sincerely and pointedly about “socialism”, “Democratic takeovers” and “countries changed forever”…

…LaPierre said, and warned that “evil walks among us.”

…and offering us his humble opinion on the moral and spiritual zeitgeist of the Western Hemisphere. This is Wayne LaPierre folks, the head of a group of gun manufacturers.

If this doesn’t shock you, I don’t know what to say. But you can see what he’s doing pretty clearly:

Here’s the accompanying screed:

“No one on this planet benefits more from mass shootings…” Colion Noir, a gun rights activist, declared in a video published by NRA TV on Thursday. “Sure, they love to get up in front of the camera and sell the lie that the mass shootings are all the NRA’s fault, and falsely claim that the NRA is a soulless organization selling guns to killers for profit. But all my years of watching these events play out have led me to one conclusion: The mainstream media love mass shootings.”

Does anyone see the problem with this? Both of these could be true. The NRA could be responsible for mass shootings and the MSM could be glad when they happen. Both institutions could be evil. But the responsibility for the deaths of those teenagers would still land squarely with the NRA.

He describes the shootings as Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Seinfeld, and Friends — in terms of ratings — for the media.

“Tragedy is their business model,” he said.

“IF IT BLEEDS IT LEADS” he cried aloud, prominently burying his tongue in his cheek. And all the major networks, almost as one, began to weep before the world. So they all packed up and went home, the end.

“The shooters are the star. [The media] sensationalize everything about these killers,” Noir said. “And guess who’s watching? That’s right. Another lonely, ignored, mentally disturbed psychopath looking to make a name for himself. And you, the mainstream media, just put out the casting call for the next mass shooter.”

Journalism is just the worst, y’know? This is what they’re reduced to, griping about CNN devoting chunks of their primetime broadcasts to a massacre of school students. What’s the next obsession du jour, huh? The War in Iran?

The constant complaints about the media are remarkable, and laughable. All conservatives are forthright, true and honest, which is why they’re always saying GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE. That complaint is damn close to the one red state Trumpers have for the rest of us: WHY CAN’T THEY GIVE HIM A CHANCE? Seeing as how we don’t really know anything about this Donald fellow, it’s only fair we turn off the TV, the worldwide web, the radio, et. al. Everyone can emerge from their Brookstone caves the day before the election to take stock, and assess choices, etc. (…alternatively: Whatever happened to Due Process™?!)

Anyway it’s late I’m tired, and I’m going to bed. Dana Loesch:

“Many in legacy media love mass shootings. You guys love it,” Dana Loesch said Thursday. “Now I’m not saying that you love the tragedy. But I am saying that you love the ratings.”

More Dana, brave soul:

Loesch faced off with students who survived the shooting at a CNN-hosted forum…

“I had to have a security detail to get out,” she said of the Sunrise, Fla. event. “I wouldn’t be able to exit that if I didn’t have a private security detail. There were people rushing the stage and screaming burn her.”

“Burn her!” is what Florida teenagers say, all the time. They’re eerily like the Jonah Goldberg types who masturbate to audiobook recordings of The Crucible.

National Review’s David French:

The Gun-Control Debate Could Break America

Last night, the nation witnessed what looked a lot like an extended version of the famous “two minutes hate” from George Orwell’s novel 1984…

17 year-olds amount to Big Brother. Double plus chickenshit.

And here’s Eric Levitz, of New York Magazine:

On Guns, Liberals Are Flirting With the Politics of Fear. That’s Scary.

Liberal caveats, oh fuck me.

Much of Wednesday night’s discussion proceeded from the premise that American schools are exceptionally unsafe places, and that mass shootings are a top-tier threat to the lives of America’s young people. Neither of these assertions is true.

Schools in the United States are safer today than at any time in recent memory…

When a human-hunting sociopath enters the local elementary school armed with an assault rifle, just stay calm. Don’t freak out. It was only going to happen anyway – it’s statistics, okay? Instead, try and remember this: We’re certainly doing better now than ever. Golly Eric, what a clever little kitty you turned out to be.

Trump comes up with a solution for school massacres: Arm the teachers

After either a lot or very little consideration, in the aftermath of the Parkland massacre in Florida last week, our president has finally come up with an answer to the chronic problem of school shootings.

“If you had a teacher who was adept with the firearm, they could end the attack very quickly,” he said, stating that schools could arm up to 20% of their teachers to stop “maniacs” who may try and attack them.

“This would be obviously only for people who were very adept at handling a gun, and it would be, it’s called concealed carry, where a teacher would have a concealed gun on them.”

First I’d like to point out his political chops here. People would prefer to think of Trump as an amateur, but this statement is a very professional hack job. Most right-wing political arguments begin with an insane assumption up front, one meant to get past you before you realize what just happened. The phrase “very quickly” is the assumption here. There were armed guards at Columbine and Parkland, but both gunman had plenty of time. So, total bullshit.

“They’d go for special training and they would be there and you would no longer have a gun-free zone,” Trump said. “Gun-free zone to a maniac — because they’re all cowards — a gun-free zone is ‘let’s go in and let’s attack because bullets aren’t coming back at us.’ “

And here’s where it gets really stupid.

If you’re serious at all about this idea – borrowed from the NRA’s ‘If you have zero guns you need one, if you have one you need two’ – then you can’t just allow a few teachers to bring in their handguns. That will prove both totally ineffective and dangerous for the students. You have to arm masses of them, on the order of Trump’s 20%.

Meaning that if there are 3 million public school teachers in the U.S., then you’re talking about soldiering up 600,000 of them. You’re making an army of teachers.

And like any militia, you have to arm them, and you have to train them. Somebody’s gotta buy a helluva a lotta semi-automatic pistols – I think the Army’s sidearm of choice was a 9mm. And there would have to be several weeks’ training in usage of the pistol, and some pretty intense training in the really difficult stuff: active shooter confrontations, tactical approaches in buildings, close quarters combat, etc.

Plus: Who’s going to pay for all this? Beyond the guns and the training, you have to salary all your G.I. teachers. You can’t just hope they’re still working at a school and carrying a weapon six months or six years later. You have to pay them to carry out their duties. The starting salary for a new LAPD officer is $65,000 a year – is that the salary bump your recruits should expect? Because otherwise the NRA is doing some retail trolling here, asking citizens first to drop thousands of their own dollars on weaponry and then later to show up at work every day full of caffeine and dreams of glory.

Serious questions arise from the president’s supposed solution. Which point out how thoroughly un-serious Donald Trump is being. He’s an idiot, he’s just parroting Fox News again.

Spazzing out

These people simply do not know how to have a scandal.

A black eye is not a “mere allegation.” Nor is it something that can easily be “falsely accused.” It’s really black, and it’s an eye. “Due Process” is not a function of the White House – it’s a function of our courts of law. And it’s not anything Rob Porter’s former wives and/or punching bags can offer him, nor should they.

And why is it that the President can say whatever nasty crap he wants about anyone, but some random guy’s wife should watch her mouth because LOOKOUT BAD THINGS COULD HAPPEN. Yes, it’s those solitary citizens talking about their own lives who are turning Trump’s politics into an unlikely controversy.

My point is, when you’ve got a scandal on your hands you’re not supposed to draw attention to it. You’re not supposed to make it worse. You’re not supposed to re-affirm the reasons why everybody hates your guts. When you’ve got yourself a fire, don’t make a point of parading around banging empty gas cans.

Porter told senior staffers his first ex-wife, Colbie Holderness, received a black eye and facial bruises during an argument as the two struggled over Venetian glass in their hotel room while on vacation in Venice in the early 2000s after they were married.

He said that “[Holderness] was ready to throw glass onto the floor to smash and they both lunged for the glass and there was a struggle,” according to two people with knowledge of the account.

Apparently no one told Cold-Cock Porter to avoid saying ‘She walked into a door.’ The only thing missing from that quote is the sound of grinding teeth while he mashes his fist into his palm. And maybe doing the two finger eye-to-eye thing. Everybody connected to this thing is dumb as hell.

50 seconds in: “We learned of…the extent of the situation involving Rob Porter last Tuesday evening…” Umm no, you didn’t. You’re lying. You knew last year, which is why all these reporters are peppering you with questions. ‘Due process! Duuuuee proocesss…!’ Jesus stop saying that. ‘We take domestic violence seriously!’ Oh really? Then why won’t Donald talk about it in public?
‘I SPEAK FOR THE PRESIDENT NOW EVERYBODY SHUT UP.’

This would be a lot more entertaining without, you know, the specter of nuclear weapons taking the fun out of it.

It’s not an accident

Donald Trump’s number one, General John Kelly, has a number one of his own: Staff Secretary Rob Porter. Porter resigned today after credible allegations arose that he’s a wife beater.

As the FBI conducted a background check on an incoming senior White House official last year, the bureau learned of the man’s history of domestic abuse. Rob Porter, a top aide to President Donald Trump, physically assaulted both of his previous wives, according to the two women. Porter’s first wife said she was physically abused for years, providing a photograph she took of herself after she said Porter hit her while on vacation in Florence, Italy — a photo she also shared with the FBI.

“Up until then, he had always done it in a way that didn’t leave marks,” Holderness said. “I don’t know if that was conscious or not. He would get angry and throw me down on a soft surface — to his credit, it was always a soft surface like a couch or a bed — and he would lay on top of me shaking me, or rubbing an elbow or a knee into me. He graduated to choking me, not ever hard enough to make me pass out, or frankly to leave marks, but it was frightening and dehumanizing.”

The Federal Bureau of Liberals was so alarmed by what they learned they denied him employment. You can’t let a violent lunatic like that have access to the White House, President Trump, and the country’s most sensitive intelligence. Of course. Nonetheless Trump’s BFFs thought his ‘resignation’ was a terrible tragedy because Rob is a superior great man of the highest integrosity, etc..

“Rob Porter is a man of true integrity and honor and I can’t say enough good things about him,” The Daily Mail published [Gen. John] Kelly as saying. “He is a friend, a confidante and a trusted professional. I am proud to serve alongside him.”

So did Sanders.

“I have worked directly with Rob Porter nearly every day for the last year and the person I know is someone of the highest integrity and exemplary character,” the Daily Mail quoted [Sarah] Sanders as saying.

Utah senator Orrin Hatch was outraged. Not in the good way.

“It’s incredibly discouraging to see such a vile attack on such a decent man. Shame on any publication that would print this—and shame on the politically motivated, morally bankrupt character assassins that would attempt to sully a man’s good name. I know Rob. I’ve known him for years, both as a close friend and as a personal advisor. He is kind and considerate towards all. The country needs more honest, principled people like Rob Porter, which is why I hope that this cynical campaign to discredit his character ultimately fails.”

Breaking: THIS AIN’T NEWS. The Trump swamp is loaded with these jerks. If you think Stephen Miller is a loving partner to whomever or whatever he mates with, you are sorely mistaken. These are the nastiest bunch of screws we’ve ever seen. These assholes make G. Gordon Liddy look like Dr. Phil.

Donald Trump, chief White House strategist Steve Bannon, and his now vanquished choice for labor secretary, Andrew Puzder, have one deeply disturbing thing in common: Each of them have had wives who accused them of physical assaults…

In a 1988 petition, [Lisa Fierstein] stated that Puzder “assaulted and battered me by striking me violently about the face, chest, back, shoulders and neck, without provocation or cause,” which caused “bruises and contusions to the chest, back, shoulders and neck … two ruptured discs and two bulging discs,” among other injuries.

Fierstein said “he hit her and threw her to the kitchen floor and unplugged the phone after she tried to call police for help,” according to a published report. Puzder denied using physical violence but said he pushed her during that altercation and stated she may have tripped over her own feet, causing her to hit the ground.

Trump’s Karl Rove, Stephen Bannon:

Like the early wives of Trump and Puzder, Bannon’s second wife accused him in 1996 of domestic violence. Police even documented the choke marks on her neck from Bannon, and he was charged with a crime, and allegedly dissuaded her from pursuing the case under the threat that she would be poor and destitute without his support.

A police report obtained by Politico alleges that Bannon destroyed the phone she was trying to use to call 911.

Apparently smashing the phone is a thing among the fightin’ Trumpers. Donald himself:

Trump and his first wife, Ivana, had almost the exact same scenario. Mind you, when a judge granted their divorce, which was filed by Ivana and went uncontested by Donald, it was granted on the grounds of his “cruel and inhuman treatment” of her. She said in a deposition that in a rage over a scalp reduction surgery gone bad, she suffered a “violent assault” at his hands in which he ripped fistfuls of hair from her scalp, ripped her clothes off, and raped her. She called it rape in a deposition and in private accounts of the incident.

Let’s not forget the Access Hollywood tape:

I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married.

And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I took her out furniture – I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there…

I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.

Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Remember when Corey Lewandoski assaulted reporter Michelle Fields?

Donald Trump has accused Breitbart News reporter Michelle Fields of fabricating a story about being grabbed and bruised by his campaign manager.

“This was, in my opinion, made up,” Trump told CNN after Thursday night’s Republican debate. “Everybody said nothing happened. Perhaps she made the story up. I think that’s what happened.”

Riiight.

Remember the old days when U.S. Presidents held press conferences? Remember when it was possible to ask them questions? Boy, that really takes me back.

This year and the danger of Donald Trump

It was never the case that Donald Trump would be dangerous in the first few months of 2017. The first year of his presidency was too soon for him to cause any real damage. Even though he’s a first rate scumbag, he still needed a little while to settle in to his new job.

It’s only now that the real danger of Donald presents itself.

President Trump’s vision of soldiers marching and tanks rolling down the boulevards of Washington is moving closer to reality in the Pentagon and White House, where officials say they have begun to plan a grand military parade later this year showcasing the might of America’s armed forces.

Trump has long mused publicly and privately about wanting such a parade, but a Jan. 18 meeting between Trump and top generals in the Pentagon’s tank — a room reserved for top-secret discussions — marked a tipping point, according to two officials briefed on the planning.

Much of this has to do with the nature of narcissism – specifically Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The longer he remains president, the more his diseased brain will take possession of everything around him – the trappings, the buildings, the title. Yes, the Army. Guaranteed.

Surrounded by the military’s highest-ranking officials, including Defense Secretary Jim Mattis and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Joseph F. Dunford Jr., Trump’s seemingly abstract desire for a parade was suddenly heard as a presidential directive, the officials said.

“The marching orders were: I want a parade like the one in France,” said a military official who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the planning discussions are supposed to remain confidential. “This is being worked at the highest levels of the military.”

You may think this is tinpot dictator stuff, but to Donald it’s as serious as a heart attack. He fully believes that Trump’s troops should be marching to a Sousa soundtrack right down the middle of your main street. You cannot imagine how stark and inspiring he imagines this will be.

The fact that he’s now arranging for this – sorry, ordering this – to happen tells you almost everything you need to know about how he currently perceives himself. He’s come to own the presidency. He believes it is time for Trump to become the greatest Commander in Chief ever.

He also fully believes that he has come to embody the greatness of America. Like all martinets, he and his country have become one.

President Donald Trump accused Democrats of treason on Monday, accusing them of “un-American” behaviour for failing to applaud economic gains during his State of the Union address…

“They would rather see Trump do badly than our country do well. That’s what it means,” he said during a speech on tax reform at a manufacturing plant in Blue Ash . “It’s very selfish. It was bad energy.”…

“They were like death and un-American,” he said. “Somebody said ‘treasonous’. I mean, eh. I guess, why not? Can we call that treason, why not? I mean they certainly didn’t seem to love our country very much.”

Sarah Sanders said the president was joking, but he wasn’t. Donald believes this wholeheartedly; you either applaud him or you hate America.

This is very bad news. This is a clear signal we’re in a sort of phase two of Trump and his disease threatening us. He’s not as fearful of public perception as he was in the first year, and that’s a bad omen.

Then there’s this: the more his narcissistic supply is threatened, the more angry and erratic he’ll become. As the Mueller probe gets closer to disclosing his crimes – likely Russian money laundering, right in the center of his financial dealings – Trump will get scarier and crazier. This of course will drive loyalty-deranged conservatives to close ranks, and it will all become a horrific mess. There will be no laws or traditions sacred enough for a dedicated phalanx of Trumpists to pay any heed once their backs are up against the wall. They won’t even care about the Constitution. It’ll all simply come down to The Tragedy of Trump.

I’m telling you, this is bad. This could be the worst political year we’ve seen since Richard Nixon’s downfall. Except when Trump goes down, it will be an all-out brawl.

Post-Nunes…number two

I was going to post another broadside at Devin Nunes, the bold truth-teller who skulks around Trump’s residence in order to tell Master the amazing things that Master summoned him to tell. But then I came across this Townhall post and it was too good to let go.

Journalism is Dead
Derek Hunter

This week we saw a perfect example of how corrupt journalism has become. There was an opportunity to report the news and journalists and their fellow travelers in the pundit class balked. While that wasn’t unusual, what was is how they did it in the lead up to the news, not bothering to wait until they’d seen what they were attempting to discredit.

SSSHH everybody. The toddler president is trying to avoid impeachment by throwing his rag doll at us. But that doesn’t mean YOU SHOULD MAKE ANY NOISE…sssshhhh.

There was an unprecedented attempt to make the release of the FISA memo NOT NEWS before anyone knew what was in it.

Over the past two weeks, Democrats scrambled to “warn” the public that the release of the FISA memo would “damage national security” were it released.

FBI Director Christopher Wray is a Republican.

“The FBI clashed with the White House on Wednesday over the much discussed Republican memo that alleges the bureau abused its surveillance powers. The bureau said it has ‘grave concerns’ about the ‘accuracy’ of the document that the president supports making public…

“‘With regard to the House Intelligence Committee’s memorandum, the FBI was provided a limited opportunity to review this memo the day before the committee voted to release it,’ the FBI said. ‘As expressed during our initial review, we have grave concerns about material omissions of fact that fundamentally impact the memo’s accuracy.'”

Rod Rosenstein is a Republican. Andrew McCabe is a Republican. James Comey is a Republican.

There was virtually no discussion as to whether or not this allegation was true or an attempted partisan distraction, it was simply accepted and repeated as if it had been carved into stone tablets by a burning bush and sent directly to the teleprompter in their TV studios.

The Bible. Exodus Three:

1 Donald was tending his stooges when there the angel of the Lord did appear to him in flames of fire from within a bush. 2 Don saw though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 He thought, “I gotta get one of those.”

4 God called to him from within the bush, “Hey! Stupid!”

5 Don said, “Huh?”

6 “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Ye shall hear my words. And ye shall know them.” 7 “I command thee to scoff at The Memo.” God said.

8 God went on. “My words go forth, and they smight all of The Devins.” 9 “They burn bright on the stone tablets of CBS and CNN, because I’m a bush, alright?” 10 “They appear now as the Holy Ghost on their prompters. Which makes a lot of sense.” 11 “Therein the spake-heads of Coopers and Lemons shall know only of what I speak.”

12 Donald scratched his balls. God sighed. 13 “They shall know only the Holy Word. GET IT?”

14 Don did not get It. He was confused. 15 God slapped his forehead, and all the forests tumbled. Then Don got It. 16 He stretched his arms out wide, and said, “YUGE.” 17 God proclaimed him “Dickweed.”

The lying by Democrats in the lead up to the memo’s release wasn’t surprising, nor was the complicity of journalists in spreading that lie. What was is how there was virtually no curiosity or interest in the memo and its contents in the days leading to its release from the people whose job it is supposed to be to convey information to the public.

Five Questions the Nunes Memo Better Answer

“1. When did the FBI open an investigation on Carter Page?

“It’s important to understand that just because the FBI receives information (like the Steele Dossier), the Bureau cannot immediately run to a FISA court and obtain a warrant. A FISA warrant itself does not make a ‘case;’ rather, it’s an investigative tool used in support of an existing national security case…”

All journalists did was attempt to taint it’s release so as to foster disinterest in it in their audience when they could finally see it.

Once it was released to the public, the discussion shifted to anything but its contents…

Thoughts on the Nunes Memo: We Need to Talk About Devin

“As the document tells the story, on Oct. 21, 2016, the Justice Department and FBI successfully applied for a FISA warrant against Carter Page from the FISA court. Presumably, though the memo does not state this explicitly, it did so under Title I of FISA, as Page is a U.S. citizen and the warrant seems to have been an individualized one directed at him. The initial warrant was renewed three times, once every 90 days, each time requiring renewed showing of probable cause that Page was acting as the agent of a foreign power…”

…or the fact that unverified Clinton campaign opposition research was used as justification to spy on an American citizen without disclosing that’s what it was.

“The memo was written by House Intelligence Committee Republicans and alleged a ‘troubling breakdown of legal processes’ flowing from the government’s wiretapping of former Trump aide Carter Page.

“But its central allegation — that the government failed to disclose a source’s political bias — is baseless, the officials said.

“The Justice Department made ‘ample disclosure of relevant, material facts’ to the court that revealed ‘the research was being paid for by a political entity,’ said one official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the matter’s sensitivity.”

Now, I don’t know anything about Carter Page, the subject of that spying, beyond the fact that he’s an American citizen. He could be a Russian robot, for all I know. But he’s apparently been the subject of constant government surveillance since 2013 and hasn’t been arrested. That means he’s either the world’s greatest spy who doesn’t leave a fingerprint anywhere, or he’s just some weird guy…

No one in the media bothered to ask or seemed to care. (There are two very interesting threads on the FISA warrants here from a Member of Congress and especially here from an attorney. I recommend reading them.)

Check it out “especially”, as he “recommends”. Because “an attorney” is somebody you can trust, particularly if you found him on Twitter.

“Liberal totalitarian invention” is the greatest phrase ever. Facebook, fidget spinner, FISA court: liberal totalitarian invention. [BTW – FISA was passed in 1978 “as a response to President Richard Nixon’s usage of federal resources to spy on political and activist groups.” But of course that’s Wikipedia, the commie manifesto.] And check out the people he re-tweets: A shadow Jeff Sessions.

I stood up and cheered when I read this. The fact that Page wasn’t even part of the Trump campaign when the FISA court okayed his surveillance completely devastates the Nunes memo. Kills it, dead. For these whackos, it only makes everything worse. WANTED TO GET TRUMP SO BAD THEY SPIED ON A NOBODY!!1!1! Page was off on his own, a random pro-Russia weirdo that couldn’t get a janitor’s job in the administration. THAT’S PRECISELY WHY HE WAS TARGETED!!!1!11!!

Here’s another fave twitter tweeter:

Lion of the Bar. Eminence of the intelligence community. Scourge of Satan: Charlie Daniels. Yes, the fiddle player. Charlie reminded us this morning:

We are doomed. We’re the stupidest people on Earth.

Post-Nunes…number one?

Hello, back in town.

Where to begin…I was trucking southbound on the 101 around San Jose when I heard the Nunes memo got released. For hours all I could get on AM radio was right wing talk. I rumbled away while the hosts sputtered at turns disbelieving and apoplectic, one courageously offering ‘my head is spinning’, while another stopped the broadcast to do his voice-from-the-grave: ‘You either love liberty. Or you love tyranny.’ Everyone agreed this was the biggest scandal in global history.

This was more likely the biggest moment of their lives. Their voices were shaking, their banter was kinship, their demeanor was grave. When they came back from commercial break, both Edmund Burke and Liberty had been rendered pale. I’m old enough to remember the moon landing, and that’s the only comparison I can draw. Today was a political life-moment that can’t be duplicated.

President Donald J. Stump

We are sadly reminded again that President Trump is not just your typical winger dumbass, but an honest-to-god imbecile.

“The Paris accord, for us, would have been a disaster,” Trump said in excerpts of an interview with Piers Morgan on the U.K. television network ITV that will be broadcast later on Sunday. “Would I go back in? Yeah, I’d go back in. I like, as you know, I like Emmanuel” Macron.

The Paris Agreement is mediated by the United Nations. Not by Emmanuel ‘Kraft’ Macaroni. Yes, I know, I should be glad he somehow figured out where Paris is.

“The ice caps were going to melt, they were going to be gone by now, but now they’re setting records,” Trump said in excerpts of an interview with Piers Morgan on the U.K. television network ITV that will be broadcast later on Sunday. Trump didn’t specify the data behind his statement about setting records.

The Earth’s polar ice caps are what, now? His balls? Trust me Piers, they’re yuuuge. Ladies, you can start nibbling his earlobes straight away. We’ll manage the frostbite.

Trump also expressed skepticism in the ITV interview that the global climate is warming, as a majority of scientists have concluded.

“There is a cooling, and there’s a heating,” he said. “I mean, look, it used to not be climate change, it used to be global warming. That wasn’t working too well because it was getting too cold all over the place.”

Someone smack this fucker upside the head. Just *whap* him a broadside to see if he wakes up. Christ, he’s the president. The PRESIDENT.

Spanners in yer Trumpanity

What are the odds that our hero did this to himself?

Fox News host Sean Hannity announced that he has logged back onto Twitter to expose “deepstategate,” as his formerly compromised account appears to be back to normal.

Hannity’s profile went off the grid for several hours Friday night after it was apparently “briefly compromised,” according to Fox News’ PR team.

It’s not as dramatic as, say, vandalizing your own cemetery. But throwing a big gubmint spanner into your own Twitter does have a certain je ne sais quack.

Oh Yes, Sean. The mailmen of #DEEPSTATE have been banging away at their keyboards trying to log you off your Twitter. And Oh Yes you would have certainly died had the glitch gone on any longer, we all know that’s how life works.

Hannity has no idea what a miserable puke he is. He doesn’t know why he’s roughly as popular as the Plague – even with Twitter hackers.

Fox News may be a big deal, and Hannity is certainly a giant of their cable empire. But that doesn’t mean people like him. He is broadly despised. People can’t stand him or his best pal.

Donald Trump is refusing to visit the UK unless Theresa May can ensure that he is not met with protests.

Bloomberg revealed that Trump complained in a phone call to May about the “negative coverage” he has received in the British press.

And Donald had a good laugh at his own expense, ha ha ho ho. You funny funny Brits. O Theresa what can a poor President do? (JK!)

May told the US president that that was how the UK media operated and she could do little to change it.

Trump went on to say that he would not visit the UK unless there were guarantees that he would not be met with protests.

Advisers who had been listening to the phone call are reported to have been “astonished” at the demands.

U.S. News and World reports: When President Duterte called, he didn’t want any trouble. He and his aides wouldn’t make the flight if protesters were going to show up while he’s there. “I’m not taking any shit from your people, okay Don?” “Okay Rod,” Trump replied, and then he called out the National Guard. The two presidents then had a good laugh at our expense, ha ha ho ho.

Anyway I figured I would google it, and of course:

After the election, Mussolini closed opposition newspapers and banned public protest meetings. He declared all political parties illegal except for his own Fascist Party. He outlawed labor unions and strikes. He also established a political police force, the Organization for Vigilance and Repression of Antifascism…

By 1925, Mussolini had adopted the title, Il Duce (the Leader). He delivered emotional public speeches, swaying back and forth, puffing his chest, and holding his hands on his hips. The crowds chanted back fascist slogans such as “Il Duce is always right!”

Of course he’s always right. It says so right there at Circus Massimo.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard Donald say something that sounded altogether Fascist and then googled it. Too many times to count. Must be a dozen times I’ve started with The Leader and ended up with Il Duce. But AFAIK this is the first time I ever managed to close the loop:

“Why should I be politically correct?” he said. “I’m turning out to be right. I’m always right … you’ll see, you’ll see. I’m always right.”

Hooray!